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Inherited

Submitted by Gloria Emerson on Wed, 2022-06-01 18:46

Bottle’s of bitterness
Slow death of soul
Generation’s of same
Took lives in toll
Guzzling spirits
Here’s to your reign!

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
Thank you
Editing stage: 
Not actively editing
Contest: 
Dealing With Grief Or A Lost Love
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Geezer

Wed, 2022-06-01 19:50

Geezer's picture
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I think that you have written a good poem. I see the sense of it and agree one hundred percent!
You have told a story of rejection and pain, with a short concise piece. In writing your title, you have done half the work, but ignored the admonishment of how it is to appear. Look at my signature and you will see how it is supposed to be. Example:
One of the challenges is: "Late Night Munchies" This will be your title, then you may add your own title after that in quotation marks or parenthesis. you did do the right thing in using the drop-down for adding it to the contest.
Unfortunately, this contest has already concluded and is no longer in play. Watch the dates and plan accordingly. I look forward to seeing more of your work, and sincerely hope that you keep writing. ~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Candlewitch

Thu, 2022-06-02 07:58

Candlewitch's picture
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I think this poem is just the tip of the ice burg, as they say! there is an undercurrent of a big story (even several stories) many of pain and betrayal and loss. it think this is a multifaceted poem of a multifaceted woman who has many stories to tell. I want to read them... so find your inner voice, like you did with this poem, and dig down deep to the source and let the waters flow!

*hugs, Cat

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