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Indian Summer...

Crows... ancient tongue in his ear
as the dawn does break
A shadow against the purple sky
before the earth awakes

Mother earth holds his feet
Father Sun sends the wind
He feels the world enfold him
He loves his forest kin

Shadowed, dark-green woodlands
The waving, golden grains
All the beasts, that roam there
The forest and endless plains

A whispered prayer of thank you
for another day of joy
For the mountains and the water
and the life of an Indian boy

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
I met a Native-American family last week, going home to Utah, and the little boy was homesick! Said that he wanted to be able to spend the rest of the summer with grandpa, hunting and fishing!
Editing stage: 

Comments

I like this a lot because the rhyme appears natural, unforced. It is also very visual, and the subject, which I understand to be the harmony with nature of American indians, at least in the past, is always an interesting one. Congratulations.
Best wishes,
Robert.

Being of Native-American descent on both sides of my family, I have great interest in native American culture.
I don't have much to go on, but I have been told that my father's people were of English Dutch and Mohawk Indian. On my mother's side it is French Canadian and Seneca. This one is one of my favorite rhyme schemes.
I'm glad that you like it. ~ Gee

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author comment

As I have been to a few countries in my time here, I have found that there is so much depth in the words that we can hear on talking to people from all walks of life.
I have a lovely bead necklace here from the Sioux Indians of Alberta Canada, it was a gift from the friends I made there up in Cold Lake.
They were a beautiful people, also an Inuit friend I had from near Churchill in Ontario, then to Africa the wonderful Zulu friends I had there, in fact I would go out and meet the ordinary folks where ever I have been in this world, it is so refreshing to hear of their ways and the things they feel. I have met so many and none are forgotten they all have their stories to tell..
I am so glad you met those people and the write that you did was of your learning from them, and this is even where, even the words of a child can teach us many things.
Go well young Friend, and know it is good to walk with you, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

been out of the country, except for going to Canada a few times, but I have met many people from other countries. My job puts me in contact with many different people as I take them to and from the airport and train. We do a lot of business with G.E. Research and Development and I have passengers from all over the world. I usually ask people where they are going and where are they from. Getting most of them to talk about their countries is pretty easy. Sometimes they ask me about living here in New York and where have I been here in this country and have I seen this or that? I love to talk and by the time we get to wherever we are going, I have told them something about myself and I would hope that they in turn, take some of that knowledge home with them. Thanks for the read and comment, ~ Gee

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author comment

I liked your poem, just a couple
of things I wanted to point out, you were
speaking of one particular boy but you
mentioned the forests and plains, there
were nomadic tribes that traveled the plains
and there were tribes that settled in forests but
they were different, then you mention the mountains,
just trying to figure out where the boy was homesick for.

Of course I suppose Utah has all that, I've never been but
always wanted to go. One of my first crushes was a girl from
Utah, we were army brats in 3rd grade in Germany, she was a
lovely little thing as I remember. Norma I believe, yes, Utah.

thanks for the read,

Richard

I think what Gee potraits here is this boy was free to roam any range, mountain or forest he pleased. He was truly free, nice work Gee. Regards Roscoe..

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

poetry
a worthy read says
old loved now lovedly
technically

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