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Impuzzlement
Still in the vicinity
where l rest my weary head,
l weep to our shared morning,
where l'd be better off dead.
l'm sad for this impuzzlement,
why won't the pieces fit?
what could the theives true motive be
to take my little bit?
I tread not, near the shadows
for they hide what l can't see;
plus, they do their best to convince my heart
that it's because of me!
I dare not blame the lieing theives
that own this part of earth,
l blame my gullibility
given me from my own birth.
My problems are not mine alone,
the theives 'round me must learn;
by taking of my possessions
soon the tables, they will turn!
Still in the vicinity
where I also sit my cup;
I lie awake, impuzzling
if it'll be there when l get up!
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
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Region & Country
The High Desert, in the wild west, southern California, U.S. of A..
Favorite Poets
Keates, Poe, Dickinson, and Dr. Seuss. There are a smattering of others, but why bother listing 'em all, ya know?, I also rely on a few of our poets, here....for advice, and what not. I couldn't possibly explain what a fountain of live, effective knowledge we have...right here in our midst ! To catch a glimmer of brilliance, merely visit: the Stream.
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Comments
wesley snow
Sat, 2012-09-22 16:45
Okay...
... haven't seen you in a while. Hope you're well.
This one had an undercurrent whose explanation I infer. It is spooky and not a little creepy, but I don't know if that's intended.
May I?
Something bad has happened. A break in? We lay in the bed knowing someone has been hurt we don't wish to see (at least not right away knowing what it may be like). Somehow it's partly our fault. A disaster we were unable or unwilling to mitigate.
I may be way off base, but this is what I saw.
The poem is laid out very well, but it's the content that drew me in.
Oh, and just so you know it's really me (I have been gone a long time)... you need to invert the "i's" and "e's" in "thieves" and "lying" is with a "y".
"I" before "E" except after "C"... weird huh?
I hope you don't mind if I'm back. I can be a little hard to take.
wesley
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
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wesley snow
Sat, 2012-09-22 16:45
Okay...
... haven't seen you in a while. Hope you're well.
This one had an undercurrent whose explanation I infer. It is spooky and not a little creepy, but I don't know if that's intended.
May I?
Something bad has happened. A break in? We lay in the bed knowing someone has been hurt we don't wish to see (at least not right away knowing what it may be like). Somehow it's partly our fault. A disaster we were unable or unwilling to mitigate.
I may be way off base, but this is what I saw.
The poem is laid out very well, but it's the content that drew me in.
Oh, and just so you know it's really me (I have been gone a long time)... you need to invert the "i's" and "e's" in "thieves" and "lying" is with a "y".
"I" before "E" except after "C"... weird huh?
I hope you don't mind if I'm back. I can be a little hard to take.
wesley
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about
docmaverick
Sat, 2012-09-22 21:12
Been through Hell....
...but, if that's true.......then "why" isn't weird spelled, "wierd"?
Lol-lt's good to hear from ya! So far, this solstice has brought me into it with one hip out of socket, AND a detatched retina....not to mention my leads were unhooked from my heart to my pacemaker.
Yeah, a robbery.
It's REALLY good to hear from ya!
Sincerely,
doc.
Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==
author commentwesley snow
Sun, 2012-09-23 16:24
Shit howdy!
And I thought I had it rough not being able to walk.
The "weird" thing is actually something one of my students has on a t-shirt.
Weird indeed. I don't know why the exceptions are made. I'm having a hard enough time with the rules.
And it was really good to "read" you again.
Please, for goodness sake, take care of yourself.
wesley
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about
docmaverick
Sun, 2012-09-23 22:04
Wes....
...I've fixed said problems with spelling; by the way, I am of firm belief that i should also come before e in the dictionary!
Later,
doc.
ps) I don't believe you need to use soo much punctuation!
Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==
author commentdocmaverick
Fri, 2012-10-05 06:38
By the wayside....
...my "ps)", was a very modest remark towards my own propensity to use too much of it.
That's right. I'm punctularitically addictited to it.....and am in dire need of my next "fix"; as l sit in wait for my intervention!
doc.
ps) Didn't really notice your absence, due to my own discrepencies in my fortunes with luck.....what, with the economy the way it is; (PLUS, what you can read in all the newspapers!)
Smiling, out loud;
doc.
Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==
author commentIan.T
Fri, 2012-10-05 06:51
Ay What's up Doc ????
Thank goodness you have come through those days, use some loving care on those scars they will fade, I had one of those times in Africa, my wife paid cash for a house a silly thing to do, and the company put the money into their normal bank account didn't transfer the house so we lost everything as they went Bankrupt six months later, Yet the asso that sold the house to her lived in a millions worth of house that was in his wife's name Shit happens but I am sort of still sane La La, You take care out there I hear Obama is going to put in a national health scheme, if he ever could get one as good as ours in the UK you would be secure in life's ways, Yours Ian.T
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
docmaverick
Fri, 2012-10-05 07:04
Right, Ian....
...but, I also understand we're going to have to paint every single vehicle registered in America, "pink" by 2015!!!
lt seems he would like our country to be the first and only, "pink car-nation"!
doc.
Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==
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