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I'm No Rebel....

I’m No Rebel

I’m no rebel I have no cause,
it’s just my pen and I against
archaic laws.
Written by ancients a thousand
years hence, these laws are trite,
Insignificant, make no common
Here we are in our world today
fast moving unjust, still
the same sorts in charge, greedy
fat pigs fit to bust.

They use these laws for themselves
to create more wealth, keeping
a heel on our throats by destroying
our national health.
Here I go throwing myself into bed
again with team humanity,
sometimes it's quite a bind.
But it’s not that much of a calamity,
for they're really just here in my mind.

Why do others not think our way, with
compassion for man, tempered in steel.
Surely this is not unique to poets per se,
or do we find it hard to live in the real.
No I’m no rebel I just want a fair share
for all, this can’t be to ridiculous an ask.
I’d love to attend a well fed warm hearted
commoners ball, perhaps then in tepid
satisfaction I could bask.

What do you think, will it change
can we sit at a feast while our
planet spins, I guess you might find
it kind of strange, not knowing
the etiquette of cutlery, for our sins.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
I can tell porkies as well....
Editing stage: 


the subject is most agreeable
perhaps it could flow easier

Thank you, and if i haven't welcomed you to Neopoet yet, a heartfelt welcome comes your way now. I will have a look and see if i can smooth it out . Regards Roscoe..

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

author comment

would be to alter the syntax of 'perhaps then in tepid satisfaction I could bask' to ' perhaps, then, I could bask in tepid satisfaction'
I don't think it alters the rhyme pattern, as it is still obviously there in the read, and imo sounds better on the ear
lol - just me :)

Great poem Roscoe
lol - I'm afraid that I'm no rebel either :(

love judy

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

Thank you judy, i've had a look at your suggestion, and though i'm not convinced you have got me thinking. Thanks again, Love Roscoe..

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

author comment
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