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Illusion [Sunku]

Trudging
through sand storm
with parched lips

Listless
eyes no more
trust a mirage

Only
goosebumps hint
an Oasis

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Last few words: 
An attempt to express more through fewer words in Sunku Form.the emerging new form of poetry which I am actively promoting through my efforts however little they may be
Editing stage: 

Comments

Scary dream, my friend!

IRiz

Thanks IRiz for the read and comment
..................

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

This is a dream transcription? Has an ethereal, uncomplicated air.

Thank you for the read and appreciative comment....
........................................

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment
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