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Ignored

I'm writing this poem to be ignored

like many of you
I enjoy being a poet
of keen irrelevance

a literary luminaire
of solitude
a lost writing ghost
a megalomaniac haunting himself
a waiting oracle
waiting
for the occult muse door mouse to tap dance
whispering night babble
or having a cooked chicken fly into my mouth
while i take searing snapshots
of erratic images
puzzling them into words
from boundless burdens
of heaping intestinal bluesy aftermaths exodus of conscience
bruising my self like a masochist in heat
on out of control run-on rants
and blood razor drenched mysticism

while real men drive earth movers
drink bruskies
and kick ass
hustling time share Chinese handcuff contracts
and up sell social justice platitudes
fit for pie in the sky levitating hysteria
lives shatter like red ice
in endless cacophonies of skull clobbering effacement

I'm writing this poem to be ignored

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 

Comments

I should ignore this then? Fat chance! [If chances ever get fat]. I think that for someone who wants to be ignored, you have written a beautiful rant and it is so noted. Nice! ~ Geezer.
.

Comments and critique are a vital part of our community!
Critique or comment today!

Well I'm glad you read it :) I have a book that warns you not to read it telling the reader they will become a scourge if they do so
Well I read it anyway and it was do transformational I did become a scourge

Alister Crowley's Majick Theory and Practice ...What ever you do don't read it!

Best Z

author comment

I happen to be reading Tony Hoagland book, just came out 2019, The Art of the Voice, about the presence (voice, stance) of the poet in a poem. Your presence is well stated here with irony and dark humor.

To reach a larger audience, omit this. I think the idea the poem is that you don't enjoy being unrecognized, or irrelevant....

like many of you
I enjoy being a poet
of keen irrelevance

the poem is about you, not us, and works best when it is focused around you and what you put yourself through to be ignored. Poets and non poets will get it. The same could be said about an artist or a composer, being ignored...it's a universal,

I would title the poem

I'm Writing this Poem to be Ignored

because it will make someone want to read it, and you hit us with

a literary luminary
of solitude
a lost writing ghost
a megalomaniac haunting himself
a waiting oracle
waiting
for the occult muse door mouse to tap dance
whispering night babble...

and end with the title repeated. To me a very good poem, personal, well thought out, and with a distinctive voice which is hard to pull off.

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

Its always really great when you like my work !!!!
Yes I here you about the 3 first lines...Your comment is so true; after all they are disquieting accusations.
My experience with most of the poets I know is they suffer unrequited love from a wide audience of adoring readers and strangely with each other as well The wanting to be admired syndrome so I felt the need to speak to it

Thank you Z

author comment

Yes, but you are not though, or it wouldn't be here... Anyway, I read your work with a kind of filter (just in case my softy bloody skinlessness can't cope!!! Hope you can laugh at that, I can laugh at myself for it)... & whilst there is an ever present dangerousness & almost viciousness you seem to love to wield... you wield it really well & I really think this a good work... I think of you like a vivisector in a way, you love to slice through to the wierdnesses & the vulnerable centres of things (my impression so far) & this is a style I am not always comfortable with, but can certainly appreciate (am I "whispering night babble"?). There are a bunch of really brilliant lines here that I just HAD to celebrate, I think that says a lot (from writer to writer).. I did wonder at this line though, it tripped me up ... "of heaping intestinal bluesy aftermaths exodus of conscience"... I really enjoyed the sentiment I gleened from it, but wondered, could it be split to...
"of heaping intestinal bluesy aftermaths
exodus of conscience" or would this deprive it of it's complexity of intent?

I'm not sure if you get that I am praising your work... I hope so... How's this for praise.... there are a number of lines here that I wish I had penned for there evocative impact & ability to permeate, beyond language, the sense of things.

Cheers
Anni

My dear friend always told me "Water the seeds of joy first"

Yes, I see feel your appreciate of my work and am delighted by it ;
so *Thank UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU :)*

As per your illuminated insight with regards to
"of heaping intestinal bluesy aftermaths exodus of conscience"
I think there Is something to it ending with aftermath and it is not lost on me how the length moves out of a kind of comfort zone
I kept asking myself after WHAT comes aftermath or aftermath of what; and liked the enigmatic flavor of moving out of bounds ie outside the bounds of moral conscience where madness lives but not he madness of insanity but of its integration to make a person whole
Incidentally that takes an extremely centered person ie a soul firmly grounded in the superconscious

I think of you like a vivisector in a way, you love to slice through to the wierdnesses & the vulnerable centers of things (my impression so far)

As to the way my work makes you feel i think what your sensing is a dark sensuality because the narrative is often rooted in the realm of the taboo ie subconscious erotic lucidity / the meta thought of surrealism both in imagery but perhaps more importantly my search for language that reaches out synesthetically like a tongue for flavors I want to combine words that taste good together
That tongue could be genitals , it could be the rush of heat or a dream where death actually feels good like the ecstasy of melting away from the wearisome gravidity of self into a seamless ecstacy
Im trying to touch something in others that awakens; that which is mysterious yet inexplicably familiar as in the connection of life and death or form and the formless We do in fact exist as both but only consciously as the world soul tends to require live the concrete and that is where or rather why the gnawing feeling of incompleteness pervades ie we are only living a part of our selves

on the other side
there is no reason for anything
moveless in a veiled corridor
inhabiting innerness, a raven fog

she fell through the earth
into the infernal arms of
Hades

his tremulous kisses
a thousand glittering eyes
she could see through

Those Anni are the eyes of the mystic adept who operates outside the realm of the normative while still inhabiting it

And thank you so very much for writing so thoughtfully to me It is very appreciated

Best Z

author comment

Cheers
Anni

My dear friend always told me "Water the seeds of joy first"

Oops see below

Cheers
Anni

My dear friend always told me "Water the seeds of joy first"

I find your ability as a poet definitely deserves... calls forth in me... encouragement & conversation, I feel frustrated just because I find some of the content difficult (not your problem, but it is a barrier to me). NOT because is unique or outside the normative barrier... So much of what I love is unique & most of what I am falls outside of that barrier... My frustration is that I long to read your writing without being constantly smacked in the face by the aggression in the sexual imagery... I would love if you could point me to some of your works that have other focus than this. I am not prissy, I just have different taste... non normative sexuality can also be beautiful, gentle & considerate of anyone involved. I feel like you feel the need to howl your sexual distopia to the world like a frothing werewolf (& that's totally fine to do too, particularly if you do so with pretty good poetic articulation). I just look forward to reading you express another topic/theme/obsession as articulately. Hope that's ok

Cheers
Anni

My dear friend always told me "Water the seeds of joy first"

You have me exactly right with regards to my sexual dystopia except I'm warped and to you what is dystopian feels utopian to me ... Literally Im a public perv if you will. I celebrate the transgressive through surrealist eroticism as did de Sade ,Georges Bataille and so many others https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=georges+bataille+youtube&view=detai...

I did not start out as a writer in fact; it was the furthest thing from my mind I was in love with erotic horror and dark pornography Its not a rejection of tenderness and normalcy Its just that it widens the envelope ie Baudelaireian ...Les Fleurs du mal (The Flowers of Evil),It is about a love that is obsessive transfixed on weird fascinations and then I discovered the pleasure of writing about it and how it made me feel like I was doing something deliciously dangerous. This is compounded by my disdain for all the trite hallowed poets who ad nauseum wrote and write nature poems and mannered gritless romance rosy poesy but most of all the endless veiling of primal violence of lust and love and the dynamic sensuality of power and its exchange between lovers ie to give and to take

Having said to much here's a poem of a different flavor

INSCRIBED POEM

we inscribed poems on each others souls
in ink at first
but ink did not touch the magnitude of our love
so we wrote in the wettest kisses
and snaky tongues
undulating pink spells
but still we needed more

we wrote with the unguents from our loins
and while it was as lush as paradise
still, we craved

so we wrote in pain and blood
we suffered for each other
and at each other's hands
we drank each other's tears
consumed each other's emptiness
till arteries darkened
and our life force
ran through each other's veins
like vermilion claret
until we died each other's deaths
and felt the shadow of each other's ancestors
and then we fell in love again
transformed
true initiates of adoration
and everything each other
a rapturous yoga
fused like thrice folded metal
living silent incantations
etheric urns
burning
gold frankincense and myrrh
enshrined in the heavens
rapturous mouths
in a tangle of kisses Arcadian.

….

I so appreciate you inquiries and comments
For me it was the vision of dark fantasy that filled me with life before the voice emerged
Best to you always Anni ;)

author comment

2 things that I meant to address. 1. Re the "vivisector" comment... Where I feel you slice through to those extraordinary centre vulnerabilities quite brutally, I also seek to reach them & hunger for them myself, but prefer the unwrapping, or dissolving of the barriers or the sense of osmosing between them. I write this so you might understand some of my frustration... in a way I recognize & aspire to the wildness & almost the fury you express, but am repelled by the method of attainment... I think just the violence (& maybe the hinted misogyny?) ... 2. Happy you explained the line I queried... totally get it.

Cheers
Anni

My dear friend always told me "Water the seeds of joy first"

OMG yes I do

drooling supplications
lustrous saliva web drapes trembling downward thighs
a glutinous chandler
melts like silk around ankles
crystal silt on scorched heels

to serve
to serve
to serve

her happiness is everything
her pathos; be kind with cruelty

and this was written by a woman

oh dragon man
take my life
unwind me slow
i'm summer ripe

Best to you my friend
Z

author comment

to see the most outspoken and lustful misogynomic writer here, having a discourse with [dare I say] one of the most prim and lady-like of our members! I remember when the fair lady had trouble getting all the way through one of my "Killer" poems, because of the violence. Now, she reads and discusses this work with a certain amount of aplomb! This is what poetry can do for us! Open our minds to another's realm, show us the difference! ~ Geezer.
.

Comments and critique are a vital part of our community!
Critique or comment today!

You might have a bit more insight since you wrote this I suspect... I am FAR from lady like my friend.... & proud of it... I do prefer peace, compassion, & my lustful side, while it can run to being wild & raw when inspired, is a lot more caring & quietly seductive than such as discussed here... But such things aside I totally get your point & love you for your interjections of encouragement & celebration. You are such a wonderful universal fan... I love that you find so much gto celebrate wherever you go here on Neo. You always make me smile. & i agree, I love Neo for it's melting pot offerings too. Re misogynist comment... I think I was suggesting that some of the imagery felt a bit misogynistic... not that the writer was... but I do think it was a query more than anything, I'm owning my own responses more than calling names... just for the record. Cheers A.

Cheers
Anni

My dear friend always told me "Water the seeds of joy first"

While I'm not offended I take exception to being called a misogynist even though many would consider me one based on my writing. In point of fact nothing could be further from the truth There is not a woman in my life who would ever identify me as a misogynist and if told that to my wife shed think you mad.
The confusion comes because most folks have no experience with those men and women who give their darker sensuality permission to be expressed ie it is by all means consensual A misogynist denies the rights of women I on the other hand encourage them to give voice to their authenticity
Its like the difference between racism and race play. Race players exploit the difference between each other because its emotionally / sexually charged as opposed to raciests who feel fear and hatred of other.

In other words women have secret desires and fantasies just like men
Many thrill to dreams of subjugation, aggression and extreme sexual transgressions. So whos the misogynist now; those who support encourage and participate in making their deepest most sacred desires come true or those who insist they behave themselves? One of the reasons young women desire marriage so desperately is to legalize their sexual expression Traditionally a woman who is sexually and actively free is thought to live in disrepute and what if she likes it rough or she likes orgies or she is bi sexual or thrives on sexual sadomasochism? Liking women like that, having fun with them and giving their veiled culture poetic expression does in no way make a misogynist
Have you ever thought to read some cliterature :)
Best Z

"Poetry opens the night to desires excess
In the night abandoned by the ravages of poetry is the measure of a refusal of my mad will to exceed the world"

Georges Bataille

author comment

this poem
to be ignored?????
o what a thought
no one did it
I G N O R E

So you got read
more than
as before

be happy 4 sure
every one now on neo's
loves you much
morer than more

You are so kind to say that Lovedly ;)
I hoped to speak for each and everyone of us here and for all those just like us who try and try always to touch others and need to be touched
Thank you Z

author comment

what of Lovedly

speak for as many
you are jolly

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