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If I am forgotten~Wendy read me a story

If I am forgotten
I want you to know

as the blinding light of summer
turns to fall, a shimmer,
daffodils turn to seed,
drifting on the breeze
I am walking to forget you

another part of me
runs eternity to forgive you,
once there was within
thee a breath of life
bound in our blood
your joy was my blessing
your sadness, shared

Anzac and incense
my memories of you,
whenever terror grips me
thoughts wander to safer times
sleeping back to back with you

bright red tartan splashes my memories
huddled in linen castles,
our torches held high
searchlights to adventure

you taught me to walk
maybe even talk

then one day you forgot me
if I am forgotten
I want you to know

far and wide my travels
have taken me walkabout,

but I never could forget you

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Changed a few line breaks and a few lines around and cut some words I think it reads smoother now
Editing stage: 

Comments

Always evocative, strong images.
Always enjoy reading your writes J-C

All of us leave traces that are hard to kick over.

'Betty'

About eight years ago I had a falling out with my sister she was much older than me and was my sole career when I was little, my parents both worked so she was the one who was around always taking care of me ... I've missed her everyday until recently I received a message asking me to go out to lunch and maybe mend some fences, the lunch went well we are talking again, I apologised for being a stubborn wench and she said sorry for her actions ... its nice to have my sister back I missed her like you wouldnt believe ... this poem is for her I plan to write the follow up to our meeting eventually

much love JC xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

author comment

this might have been a baby-sitter that you had at a very young age. I doubt that you are totally forgotten. As Betty says, "All of us leave traces that are hard to kick over". I'm sure that she does think of you ever once the while. No one can share that much of their lives with someone and just never think of them again. Somewhere, sometimes, I'm sure that she reads to a little girl or holds her little hands as she takes baby-steps and wonders if you remember her. Love and higgest bugs, ~ Gee

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Your right she was my babysitter she is my sister .... we had a falling out as I wrote above to Betty, but things have recently changed for the better we are a family once again our argument was ridiculous anyway we let someone else come between us such a silly thing cost us years of being a family, I know she must have missed me her wanting to get in contact was a big step for both of us ... thanks for the read and the comment

love and higgest bugs JC xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

author comment

glad that you and sister have reconciled. I had a similiar incident a few years ago witjh one of my sisters, I was also fortunate enough to be in a position to make the first move and have never regretted it. Sometimes when two people are passionate about something with opposing views, we tend to lose sight of the fact that family might be more important than being right or wrong. Not to say that I have changed my point of view, but I realise that we can agree to disagree without letting it come between us. I look forward to seeing the rest of the story. Love and higgest bugs, ~ Gee

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I couldnt ask for a better sister, I am just glad we are family again ... Christmas and Easter all the holidays used to make me miss her even more, we sort of had a difference of opinion that went too far ... shes a kind and gentle person and I know she would have been missing me we had always been close we made the mistake of letting one of our children get involved in our business ;) I was stubborn I didnt want to hear from her but as time goes on you realise how stupid you are ... she came to me I dont know if I would have done the same thing given the circumstances I am bull headed lol

love and higgest bugs JC xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

author comment

(the harlequin works I dont mind but,,)
the real gist of poems
the work that makes me sit up
and read
are the overt and steady
fire like this poem
down to the target drop
through the flak of fear
and tears sometimes
of painful reverie

and the sharp edged memory

an excellent work from you Jayne

Thank You!

Its so lovely to see you here and very happy you liked my poem its about my sister and I, I wrote this a while back but looking at it again the other night I changed it back to its orginal draft and then edited from there to this final edit ... I find that some of my best work is when I write about my life and the people who populate my part of the world or even just the surrounds the smells the birds the old man with his trolley full of all his worldy goods ...

Thank you again for the visit and the comment means the world coming from yourself

hugs JC x

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

author comment

I love the way you weave your Aussie roots into your work...you always seem to leave a cultural imprint, more so than others. Feel quite inspired to be very English now! LOL

'Betty' aka Ellie :)

You know I think my love for my country started at a very young age my grandfather owned farms, and I was Pa's little princess he taught me to drive he taught me to shoot(my Pa used to say dont run from me with a gun cause you'll only die tired) lol ;) im crack shot, he taught me to care for the land etc, we lived on his property till my parents brought their first house, I remember milking the cows in the early morning standing in cowpoo to keep our feet warn (in gum boots of course) lol I love this country I love its diversity and I love our way of life we arent called the lucky country for nothing !!

thanks for coming back I love getting feedback negative or positive

hugs and love JC xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

author comment

A lovely piece, and what wonderful news about your Sis, I know they are but a thought away, as my two Sisters, but at least you can use a phone for yours. And Make sure you DO !
My Sister in Aussie left us in 1949 She married had two children a Boy and Girl, I think I saw her twice since that time, but strange I can always remember her in her dance dress of blue.
There is only her daughter left now, she is the Parish Priest of Payneham S A out in Aussie.
I have seen her more than I ever saw her mother, but that is life.
I hope the Aussies look after her for me.
You take care of your Kin they are precious and there are no replacements..
Take care young lady and enjoy that Family of yours, Yours Ian.T x

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

I am sure your niece is being taken care of
I lost my sister for a long time, I plan to stay
In contact with her .... I'm laying in bed reading
Poetry on my phone can't sleep ... I've been
Working my way through cata :-)

You have a lovely day I should try and sleep

Love always JC xxx

Ps thanks for the read and comment lol

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

author comment
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