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Idle

While idly speculating why
I gave a little sigh
the chances to descry
are slim
My mind formed a fist
gave reality a twist
(it developed an alarming list)
and sank
I sit here quite complacent
a cold beer is adjacent
an idea forming nascent
I dismiss
These words have little meaning
perhaps I am just screening
the possibility demeaning
I have nothing more to say

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
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Comments

Sounds just like a car ticking over, and I hope it is on the starting grid of a Grand Prix.
Hard to equate a quality here as you seem to be playing at rest,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Loved these words:
"I sit here quite complacent
a cold beer is adjacent
an idea forming nascent"
I think we've all had those moments - but you've captured them superbly in words!
Good one!

Bonitaj

Good capture of the moment. I like it all

if I would offer a suggestion for a smoother read , it would be a little tweak in S3 Last line
to read  is something like [is dismissed] instead of [I dismissed it]
but you know perhaps I am not getting your point here.

again much enjoyed.  

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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notice that each line after three rhymes is supposed to be jarring in this but thank you for the suggestion, they're always welcome.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

I have noticed this of course
What I mean is how the last line in each stanza would read

S1 last line ......are slim
S2 last line .....and sank

so S3 would read .......is dismissed

But it's ok..I thought I would clarify my point.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

I take your point and made a change.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

this was fun

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

Freely associating and writing the product just for the hell of it is fun and linbers the mind towards more structured thought. Sort of intellectual stretching exercises before a mind marathon!

I enjoyed watching the exercise. You've reminded that I have yet to do mine today, physically.

Joe

My mind's writing cheques my body can't cash.

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