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The icon of Faith

Submitted by Simon on Mon, 2018-04-02 08:49

Her dreams are doomed
Her career is aborted
In the glen of the wild ones
She sobbed and wept.

Never feel marginalized
Never feel abandoned
Never feel betrayed
If all eyes unseeing
One mighty eye is seeing
For you are gender abused.

The unanticipated courage
She has,summoned her strength
The innocent tears is their river
Her screaming is their music
Perhaps her blood's their drink
But the truth she behold
Reflect a believe in GOD
For she is the icon of faith.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
This poem I dedicate it for the (12) year old Christian girl in the captivity of boko haram just because of her refusing to denounce her Christian faith. Nay GOD bless her & strengthen her more.
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

raj

Mon, 2018-04-02 15:57

Through the eyes of the victim of sexual abuse you have tasted her tears even though abstractly in this poem. You are right that such victims should have faith in God and move on in life. I am saying this based on the way I perceived your poem...don't know if i read it right...
..........................

raj (sublime_ocean)

Simon

Tue, 2018-04-03 07:05

Simon's picture

You are right even in your understanding,
But specifically there is a little christian girl of (12)years old adopted by boko-haram insurgents, because she refuses to denounce her Christian faith they are still keeping her under captive.
This poem is to at lease console her and strengthen her faith. May GOD please protect and bring her back safely to her parents.

author comment

raj

Tue, 2018-04-03 13:48

So sorry to know the background which inspired you to write this poem Simon...i joi you in your prayers for her safe release...
...........................

raj (sublime_ocean)

Simon

Tue, 2018-04-03 17:02

Simon's picture

Thanks for sympathizing with me, may God help that innocent girl.

author comment

themoonman

Wed, 2018-04-04 09:19

themoonman's picture
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I wanted to know more
about the girl, or perhaps that
is just the way I'd have written
it, not sure, of course your poem
isn't really about her, it's about her
faith in god, it makes me wonder why
god would allow such things.

Simon

Wed, 2018-04-04 09:42

Simon's picture

Sometimes God uses the most difficult parts of our lives to test our faiths, may be that's what going on to her.
Nevertheless, we should not fade off our believe and trust in him.

author comment

themoonman

Wed, 2018-04-04 14:02

themoonman's picture
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I believe you're correct, it must be a test
or he enjoys watching the pain, not very
good qualities either way ehh?

weirdelf

Mon, 2018-04-16 16:31

weirdelf's picture
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there is no evidence of it. None. The greatest minds in human history have tried to prove evidence of any god and failed.

I feel deeply for the plight of this girl however no god will save her and her faith only makes her life more miserable.

Human action is required here.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Simon

Wed, 2018-04-18 12:39

Simon's picture

that may their conscious judge them to free the innocent girl,
for she is not their enemy but a child who just started learning life.
thank you for understanding her pain.

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