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Ice-pops and Potted Meat... [An East Main St. story]

It was going to be a hot one
we heard on the radio
Another one like yesterday
and mother said; "I know"

How about we get prepared
to have a lazy day today?
We'll make our lunch right now
get the working out the way

Sheila get the potted meat
Guy open up the can
Kathy get the Mayo
and all three, we ran

Mom, can we have some pickles?
Yes, get the sweet and dill
Potato chips and bread
we set to working with a will

Now, be careful with the water, Guy
Sheila, get the sugar there
Kathy's got the Kool-Aid
we mixed it up with care

The ice-trays are all filled now
with purple grape and cherry red
Let's turn the music on
and get smiles all in our heads

We danced a bit this morning
and then it got too hot
We lay telling stories in the fan breeze
about the fantasies we had got

What we would do if we were rich
and I didn't know it then
But I would realize that we were
as the words flow from my pen

Rich in memories
no one can take away
as I write about those times
so far back in glory-days

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
Another of the East Main St. stories. I can't wait to show my Mom everything I've got together! She's read some of them, but I think she would be pleased to read them all at once.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

talk about a hot one; it's an even 100 degrees here in my Arizona Valley, and it's only 11:30 a.m. but what the hell-- it's dry heat. Btw,when you mix Kool- Aid ya are supposed to roll up yern sleeve to the elbow to avoid staining the shirt sleeve. Cute poem; much liked. Jerry

no sleeves to get in the way. We didn't ever dress for lunch. Thanks for the read and comment. ~ Geez.
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Honest critique and comments shouldn't hurt.
It's why we are here, to get better at our craft.

author comment

Your memories are now mine too. What a beautiful show of unity and to make the best of the heat
(which is terrible) the summers where I live are hard. Hey I enjoyed the indoor picnic and the music with your family. Sweet as can be.

Thank you...Teddy

was great at making something out of nothing. We never had much growing up, but we always had enough, because she made it so. She taught us to use our imagination and be good to each other. Now, she has taught all the grandkids that it is not a sin to be poor and that you can be successful if you try. ~ Geez.
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Honest critique and comments shouldn't hurt.
It's why we are here, to get better at our craft.

author comment

day with vivid lively memories. You let it flow so well as it is happening in front of us. Just like our T, l liked the whole showeddy

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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I do believe that my success in bringing the vision to you, is due to my having those good memories so firmly imprinted in my mind. I thank my Mom and hope I get to visit her soon. ~ Geez.
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Honest critique and comments shouldn't hurt.
It's why we are here, to get better at our craft.

author comment

Hi, lovely memories set out deftly in your warm, amusing poem. My parents only aloud purchased drinks on birthdays or other important celebrations. Good idea to have an indoor picnic, I'd never thought of it. Here it's pouring with rain and very cold. It stopped just long enough for us to take a short walk in the mud...
You have a knack for allowing your reader to imagine even more than what your poetry contains. Thanks for that, Gracy

*
*
*
Know then thyself, presume not God to scan,
The proper study of Mankind is Man.
Plac’d on this isthmus of a middle state,
A being darkly wise, and rudely great….

An Essay On Man, III, Alexander Pope.

this is what I aim for; letting the reader see those other little things. Getting them to use their imagination and their own memories to fill in the gaps. My thanks is when I succeed. ~ Geez.
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Honest critique and comments shouldn't hurt.
It's why we are here, to get better at our craft.

author comment

Hi, Geezer,
Wonderful memories! Mine were very similar and your poem helped me relive some of them. We didn't have potato chips too often, so when we did it was a special treat. Kool-Aid was a staple - liquid or frozen. What great memories of your meal time together, along with dancing! Nice to visit East Main Street again.
Thank you!
L

for us with potato chips and having Kool-Aid. My mom was a single mom trying to raise us three older ones on Social Welfare. We didn't have much in the way of treats and things. But, we had lots and lots of love. ~ Geez.
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Honest critique and comments shouldn't hurt.
It's why we are here, to get better at our craft.

author comment
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