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I WILL SHOW YOU (The promises of parents)

Submitted by Simon on Fri, 2021-04-16 09:25

I will show you how to hunt
And not to be hunted
I will show you how to fish
You will not beg for a fish
I will show you how to farm
You will never lack food

Never you make crimes
You will be free and in peace
Love your hustle even if it's little
Don't be lazy and make progress
Make your farm and vegetable
Even if all fail you'll fall for something
I will show you wisdom
You wouldn't be a fool
I will show you how to make good friends
Get strong and be happy
For these are my promises to you
I will show you all, all you needs to know.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
The intensions of parents and the promises to their children, and the well being for the family as large. God bless all parents and grant them their intensions.
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Contest: 
Neopoet Random Challenge 2
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Geezer

Fri, 2021-04-16 12:01

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in your life will be blessed and you will be a good father and grandfather. I found your words to be clear and your thoughts to be noble. Your language use gets better and better. ~ Geez.
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Simon

Sat, 2021-04-17 07:43

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The family of poets motivates me I can say that, and I am glad that I'm the member of this family thank you Geezer for checking out on me and your encouraging comment I appreciate. And thanks to this family for having me.

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c lynn brooks

Fri, 2021-04-16 14:13

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These are lovely promises to impart to a child, I enjoyed reading your refreshing poem

Chrys

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Simon

Sat, 2021-04-17 07:52

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I very well appreciate for your comment, I really wants to be father that communicates and understands his child or children by the grace of God, becouse I love a good but simple and transparent easy life. Thank you so much.

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Simon

Sat, 2021-04-17 07:52

Simon's picture

I very well appreciate for your comment, I really wants to be father that communicates and understands his child or children by the grace of God, becouse I love a good but simple and transparent easy life. Thank you so much.

author comment

Simon

Sat, 2021-04-17 07:53

Simon's picture

I very well appreciate your comment, I really wants to be a father that communicates and understands his child or children by the grace of God, becouse I love a good but simple and transparent easy life. Thank you so much.

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