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I Will Show You

Faces change individually
We are mutations you and I
All blood puzzled
Bodies of flowing DNA
Needing to gasp with green fungi
Floating in arterial raceways

Born screaming in agony
Quick to smile
Frown
Die
There are only lies
Consequences in living color

All of history
Becomes a birth
With a + to DNA

So hear me say;
I will show you
I'm a man, and
Could procreate
Every day,
But that is not
The modern way...

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Last few words: 
hahaha ya right! Nice try lol
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

I get the point of [Let's have children in this modern way
.Once a day, for good health], having a child a day, would certainly drive us crazy!

This just seems a little convoluted and not in keeping with the theme. of "I will show you." Show me what?
~ Geez.
.

Comments and critique are vital to this site!
Even if you just say: I liked this story or your spelling
of a word is wrong, take the time to write a line or two
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I get the point of [Let's have children in this modern way
.Once a day, for good health], having a child a day, would certainly drive us crazy!

This just seems a little convoluted and not in keeping with the theme. of "I will show you." Show me what?
~ Geez.
.

Comments and critique are vital to this site!
Even if you just say: I liked this story or your spelling
of a word is wrong, take the time to write a line or two
and comment. Your fellow poets will thank you!
.

Not sure if I did but it is more consistent with the title.
Later,

THE MARK
.
If you take the time to read a poem then take the time to let the author know you were there. Study it and form an opinion as well, even if it means going back to it more than once. That is basic critique, what Neopoet is all about.

author comment

seems better and more consistent with the title. After re-reading, I see it better now. ~ Geez.
.

Comments and critique are vital to this site!
Even if you just say: I liked this story or your spelling
of a word is wrong, take the time to write a line or two
and comment. Your fellow poets will thank you!
.

My mom was told
I'd die young
before the teens
so I'm told

12 died young
3 nearing 83
I'm still living
DNA is just basics
blood groups are different

each one for himself
brain's synapses should build
and a new creature
like you and me
is born to live die
when time's breeze
wills

your poem gave me much to think about. I don't believe in childhood (as I was robbed of mine) or children, in this day and age. keep on truckin'

*hugs, Cat

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

My childhood was about the only happy part of my life. Unfortunately the good ended at too young of an age, still childhood. But that's life and I'm grateful for the erratic good times since those baddish days.
I would not have more children even if I were wealthy.
Thanks for your comment,
.

THE MARK
.
If you take the time to read a poem then take the time to let the author know you were there. Study it and form an opinion as well, even if it means going back to it more than once. That is basic critique, what Neopoet is all about.

author comment
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