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I Promise

You radiate with the last light that keeps the mountains from fading into the sky
And for all my restraint that light gets brighter as the night gets dark
So I ache for the ocean and your memories swept up in the tide
For your pushing pulling breakers
And for the drive behind your hips to pull you toward me
Exploring all the mountains and the valleys
The one between your lips and chin
The hollow just above your collarbone
The beautiful cave they call your mouth that falls in on itself every time we try to draw out one another’s souls
I’ll mark a trail down your neck and hope it lingers long enough so I can find my way back
I’ll try not to get to lost in your skin and how easy it is to press my lips into it
I’ll try to control my wandering hands and wandering eyes and wandering soul
But I’ll never try to calm the fire that leaps at your heart and feeds off your body heat
And the one breath we share for a breathless moment
With the rise and fall of your chest at high tide rolling under me
“I want you until your arms shake and until your heart thinks it will burst”
With bare wires and walls crashed all around
Every defense crumbled before your very eyes
“I will make love to your body and your heart and your mind and your soul; not just one
but everything.”

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Last few words: 
WELL this is the first i have submitted in months...due to the fact i was banned from neoland hehe completely my fault. hope you like it.
Editing stage: 


Welcome back, the poem; you do use some stunning
imagery which helps to make it poetry, but is it really?
It seems more prose or a very sensual letter to some
lucky person, either way, thanks for sharing.


i agree in that it is more prose than anything. but even so, prose is poetic in its own right.
the person it was written for is maybe not so lucky; that means they have to deal with me! haha thanks for the feedback.

author comment

i hope they are. i'm trying my best to make it so with bad poetry and lots and lots of cheesy things and i'm not quite sure what i'm doing. i just hope it's working because i can be a total sarcastic bitch and put up these ridiculous walls that keep everyone out

author comment

please tell me i'm still this smooth honey because i was SO GOOD back then. oh memories.

author comment

Just keep writing, if you can write this about another then I shall wait for you to write about the world,
Will look forward to your next pieces,
Yours Ian.T
Honey maybe smooth, but it is as you know, sticky LOL

There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

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