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I Live

Submitted by club special on Thu, 2012-12-27 18:44

I live in the spirtworld..
Where wrath of time
Is prose impearled

Take my pen and paint your shore
Sixteen pence
Is twice two four

Commence your golden shaded lore
And shape my words
To tend no more

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
Editing stage: 
Not actively editing

Comments

themoonman

Tue, 2013-01-22 04:02

themoonman's picture
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While your rhythm is good, this poem for
me lacks substance, nonsensical at best.

thanks for sharing

Richard

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