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I Like, I don't Like...(contest) by:eddy styx

I Like, I Don't Like...
by: eddy styx

I like dark moon, cloudy skies,
no stars to light my way.
the darker the better
at the dying of the day.

I don't like sunshine
splashing over the land,
where people lie on the beach
on towels on the sand.

I like shadows
where I can be hidden,
watching the careless
the foolish come unbidden.

I don't like loves first blush,
seeping under the skin
as a game of chance,
you just can't win.

I like darkened paths
as much as gloomy trails.
with my blade, I like to silence
her screams and wails.

I don't like cautious women
they put me off my game,
it's hard to strike
(if they know my proper name.)

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

The language use is good, [not a bunch of tongue twisters] and plain words to explain.
The rhythm is fast, and the theme is of a ruthless predator and well done. The beginning and ends are totally
what you would expect from eddy and his game. Great stuff!
~ Geez.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

wow...I take that critique as getting straight A's in school! I appreciate your work here. when are we going to read a poem from "the boys"? looking forward to it!

ever, eddy
*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

have been bugging me about that! It seems that Killer and Sir Gee both have something to say, and of course Anubis has a tail to tell. ~ Geez.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

that is good to know! sometimes I get impatient with the 1 poem every 24 hours rule but I understand why it must be that way.

*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

The dark undertones and murderous thoughts combined with a bit of romanticism in Eddie's thoughts. He is methodical and driven. A pleasure to read.

Join in our collaborative poem workshop. Each member will have a chance to write two stanzas at least four lines each. The stanzas must be relative to the poem.

I thank you profusely for your intelligent observations!

ever, eddy styx

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

Thank you for such a great read

Join in our collaborative poem workshop. Each member will have a chance to write two stanzas at least four lines each. The stanzas must be relative to the poem.

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