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I Fell And Cannot Get Up

I wished for some flower many times
Pure and simple and potent - just fine
At last it was legal and some came my way
I recall the afternoon to this day

The hungry horrors had so struck me
The fridge was in sight - ice cream soda on my mind
So I wavered over for some feed but gee
Slowly I sunk to the floor gently on my behind

I fell and cannot get up but so what?
I’ll just sit here and enjoy the view
That warm feeling persisted throughout my butt
Do you know what I mean, do you too?

Enjoying my view from the floor
Time came to rise and shine
Twenty minutes later and after my minds tour
I was at the fridge and in it as well for some wine

Wine and weed and a soda, the combination for me
Think I’ll call that buddy of mine - that old Gee

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

to come back to this one a little later today,
as soon as I can get up off the floor! [Had me laughing so hard I fell off my chair!]
Gee.
.

Comments and critique are vital to this site!
Even if you just say: I liked this story or your spelling
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a real good laugh over this one! I can see you sitting on the floor, waiting for the vertigo to pass.
Here's a bit to think about:

Wishing for flower so many times
Simple and potent that would be fine
At last it was legal, some came my way
I can recall, that moment today.
~ Geez.
.

Comments and critique are vital to this site!
Even if you just say: I liked this story or your spelling
of a word is wrong, take the time to write a line or two
and comment. Your fellow poets will thank you!
.

lol

THE MARK
.
If you take the time to read a poem then take the time to let the author know you were there. Study it and form an opinion as well, even if it means going back to it more than once. That is basic critique, what Neopoet is all about.

author comment

Love this one Mark - well done! Minor nit: sights s/b sight perhaps?

Weed will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no weed.
- Anonymous (from the hippie era black light poster hangin' in my garage, LOL!)

Michael Anthony

That is proper I do believe.
.

THE MARK
.
If you take the time to read a poem then take the time to let the author know you were there. Study it and form an opinion as well, even if it means going back to it more than once. That is basic critique, what Neopoet is all about.

author comment

can be taken many ways. I read it as somebody who fell off the wagon onto the floor lol

that's something I hadn't considered..
Have a go at that Stan!
.

THE MARK
.
If you take the time to read a poem then take the time to let the author know you were there. Study it and form an opinion as well, even if it means going back to it more than once. That is basic critique, what Neopoet is all about.

author comment
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