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As I Enjoyed the Morning; With Coffee

There are times when I stop for a moment
and sip at the day as if it were new
and I have just discovered something rare
and beautiful right at my fingertips.

It is a reminder that tragedy
or happiness cannot define who I am,
they can only flavour the decisions
and choices I show the disparate world.

Because life is not that complicated;
we merely need to remember to breathe
and try to leave more kindness than we take
and bring more smiles to complete strangers.

And each second we glancingly partake
is one more second we can firmly choose
to discard anger and pointless hatred
and embrace the hope that fills that vacuum.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
This is pentameter blank verse without regard to iamb or other cadence. I like the cadence of conversation for poetry so that is how I structure my works. This poem is a long version of the saying I employ many times in a day: "If this is the worst thing that happens to me today, I win." I'm not that happy with the title, so it will probably change.
Editing stage: 

Comments

cannot fault the rhythm, the cadence here is so natural its almost hidden, it flows so well.
The word "and" threw me a little, being the first word of so many lines, but I think that's minor, since they fit into the pacing and meter so well; I kind of forget they are somewhat repetitious because of the cadence.
Good stuff.

Respectfully, Jim

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

seeks kind caring understanding
submissive ass kicker

yet i found them
taking me in and throwing me out

i am the battle
interment is life

because im special
im different
kept me sick and ill

hostage negotiator
from stockholm

the voice like a wind
off the ocean

marcus aurelius

etc

edicts to live by
hope kept me
going
when pride and ego
was the worst
barrage
staggering forth
free
till i strolled or dashed
back in

im fifty
most only served a year
or more
thirty years of it
i think its time
i adhered to poem
advice like this
because i can and i want too

grenades of happiness
its like hippies in reverse

this poem made me smile
and i can still laugh
some cant

thank you..

This is my second to last read before bed, I will return with a proper crit in the next few days but I have to say your poetry has a different feel to it hun, nothing I can put my finger on, I will be back maybe with a clearer head it will reveal itself :)

hope your well

JC x

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

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