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I Care...

If I should die before this is over
I hope that I have made a difference
In what? You say
In something, anything...

A person's life
Left a mark somewhere
Made someone happy
Done something worthwhile

Don't we all?
Do we value ourselves so little?
That we don't think or wish that?
Will it matter that I was?

I do believe that even the villain
The archetype of evil
The miscreant
Wants to leave something behind

Even if it is something bad
So bad...
That they will always be remembered
A page in history

No other animal on this earth
Is so vain
Feels the anonymity of life
So strongly or cares

Style / type: 
Structured: Eastern
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
Last few words: 
I went back to look, and changed a couple of things.
Editing stage: 

Comments

The title really stood out for me Gee. I was avoiding the poem because for me it displays and attitude the opposite of gratitude. All and all that turns me off.
But
It was a good reading for me. Well composed.
My last thought regarding the theme was that one can learn a lot from a bad teacher:
I do believe that even the villain
The archtypical enemy (typo) archetype of ??
The miscreant
Wants to leave something behind

And so they do or at least something to learn by and/or adjust to, yes?

I may have called it "We Learn" Hmm.. not really sure though.

Good going on one more philosophy regarding this mutation called human.

Later,

~Mark~
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To acknowledge a comment is a compliment.

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your response to my title, I have decided that if you were in such an opposition to it in the negative form, you should be equally pleased at the positive. Thanks for the correction of my [typo]. ~ Gee.
.

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author comment

It is more friendly and for me could either mean like, so do I? Or what about it, everyone does. Or, what's different about this? But knowing or having read many of your poems and find the construction to always be pleasing I would think the later and read on. Anyone else though I would more than likely at least scan the first stanza and decide.
As I said certainly more friendly IMO.
(I kind of feel a part of it now.)
Hmm..
Later,

~Mark~
To comment is necessary.
To acknowledge a comment is a compliment.

Live Chat is open 24/7,
come in, mix and mingle often!

Hi Gee, I find your poem philosophical and interesting. I'd suggest some lines in present tense.

"A person's life
Leaves a mark somewhere
Makes someone happy
Does something worthwhile."

After all, I think most people leave a mark on others' lives, loved ones don't forget for years, the memory is present. Just saying...

In the first strophe "you say in anything..." appears to lead nowhere.
I find the third strophe may be unnecessary. Perhaps re-word it into one question, or two?
The language is little too prosaic, especially for such a philosophical topic.
The title is also rather weak. Hope you don't take offense.

Gracy

The tense was set in the second line. [I have]. As to the line: "In anything" I changed it to: "Something, anything..."
It works for me. ~ thanks for your read and comment. ~ Geezer.
.

Come to Chat on the Darkside
every other Saturday night 8pm to ?
Bring your dark and delicious work
to show.

author comment
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