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I am Phoenix (MAY CONTEST)

I am Phoenix, I rise from the dead
Over and over I have stood my stead
I let you thrive, Respect I drive
From youngling, to teenager
To adult hood I spring
When I get emotional I cry a few tears
showing my grace in form of rain
Disrespect me I quake
Then like a warrior I come full force
Earthquake, tsunami, tornadoes
My love grows for whom I care
And get a little cosy with my sunny friend out there
It feels like summer but it’s my warm friendship
Everything is flourishing, until
I am tired and old, many stories untold
Walked many a mile now slumber behold
The sun is fading the warmth with it
I start to shiver It’s Autumn they say
I worked and am tired
can’t keep my eyes open, I must hibernate
Stay indoors it’s icy out there
Come lay in my arms
In wait of my loving friend
Can you guess. Who am I?
If the sun is my friend

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
sliced within specifications Mr Judge
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Wow, yes prune there are bits that you could. This is wonderful I found it full of character and a joy to read and very clever. Don't pass up the opportunity to make this a star poem.

Thank you...Teddy

kindness for your lovely comments

author comment

Double post sorry

Thank you...Teddy

I am Phoenix, I rise from the dead
Over and over I have stood my stead
I let you thrive, Respect I drive
From youngling, to teenager
To adult hood I spring
When I get emotional I cry a few tears
showing my grace in form of rain
Disrespect me I quake
Then like a warrior I come full force
Earthquake, tsunami, tornadoes
My love grows for whom I care
And get a little cosy with my sunny friend out there
It feels like summer but it’s my warm friendship
Everything is flourishing, until
I am tired and old, many stories untold
Walked many a mile now slumber behold
The sun is fading the warmth with it
I start to shiver It’s Autumn they say
I worked and am tired
can’t keep my eyes open, I must hibernate
Stay indoors it’s icy out there
Come lay in my arms
In wait of my loving friend
Can you guess. Who am I?
If the sun is my friend

i just took a couple of lines away and put some lines together i hope this helps you on your way... please feel free to pass it by of course,

Thank you...Teddy

shall review

author comment

Dear lovedly, highly attractive poem about Phoenix rising from the ashes. I think Terry has given you some good ideas. I would add one or two more, so shall return to see whether you've changed anything.
A pleasure to read you.

*
*
*
The Poetry of the Earth is never Dead. John Keats.

LOOKING FORWARD
to your visit Gracy
ma'am

author comment

the plants/trees? Just a little bit of mystery here. Yes, by all means, trim this a bit. Even if you don't enter it in the contest.
It makes good reading and maybe someone will guess who the mystery guest is. ~ Gee.
.

Come to Chat on the Darkside
every other Saturday night 8pm to ?
Bring your dark and delicious work
to show.

shall trim it
winning is no big deal
if we all consider ourselves as
PHOENIX and
we all are
truth can't hide
nor steal

author comment

I THE PHOENIX

author comment

Just wanted to drop by and say this is gorgeous

Thank you...Teddy

coz of you thanks
Teddy 15

author comment

NO PROTEST
INTERESTS protect
judge one

author comment

Phoenix is not
anywhere near
to her deer
she composed both
So there is no fear
The best wins always
O TEDDY 15
u r every one's May's
DEAR
ok deer

author comment

It's the first time I ever won anything, I guess I was lucky as your poem was just as wonderful.

Thank you...Teddy

Teddy 15
for you I am Happy
I have won 3 or 4 times
first- two
one -mentioned
and
one technically missed
this one is doing best poem of mine
in the world now
on a different site
great feeling

author comment

I wonder if it was even read
even by the judge
lol

author comment
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