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I am Pharaoh

I am Egypt, I am Pharaoh,
I build my Empires on your backs
Work your bones to marrow
Place these stones into stacks

The world will kneel at my might
With whips and sickles you'll bleed
I'll work you from sunup to midnight
Your children will never be free

You'll never be human in my eye
Just slaves in rags with no rights
I'll live in my tower you built so high
In poverty holes your home sites

Work and work until your dead
I'll dine and feast upon your labor
If I'm dissatisfied you lose your head
I am master and my guard your trainer

Should you multiply too fastidious
Order my guard to kidnap your spawn
Prove my rule through ideas insidious
Remind you I'm King and you're pawn

Egypt will hear screams of your young
As they're plunged below without trial
Water fill all their tiny infant lungs
As they drown in my river the Nile

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Cruelty of our past we sometimes forget existed in places that seem almost impossibly far away. To mindsets that seem extinct but could be lurking in the back of any mind. It's amazing to see the pyramids but we are too quick to forget that they were the product of one of humanities greatest mistakes in treating one another. How many bodies lie below that desert sand? How many children within that river? How many for the creation of a building...? No matter how amazing of a feat it was that's the real question. What was the price of an ancient miracle?
Editing stage: 


4th stanza, the "your" in "Work and work until your dead" should be "you're".
On the whole, I liked the story in this. Apart from the pharoah, there is aso the Aztecs who beheaded and enslaved people during their time. Yes, their temples and artefacts are incredibe but they are equally just as bad during their time. There's also the corrupted monarchs of ancient China and warlords who destroyed many lives. I think in every era there are bound to be scumbags who think they have the right to trample on others. The trouble is, these dys they are more cunning with their schemes and propagandas.


I appreciate your message in this poem...focusing on how much we appreciate these wonders without much thought into the sacrifices of so many artisans who dedicated almost their entire lives to build them..

a story goes about the Taj Mahal another wonder of the is said after it was build the hands of the artisans were sheared just so that they never build something similar again....


raj (sublime_ocean)

Not going to lie that is incredibly brutal. I will have to look into that. I don't know if I could write something about that as I feel that perhaps the two would be similar but that has formally piqued my curiosity. Thank you for your time. And alizdain I will fix that word as soon as possible. Autocorrect loves to remind me when I'm "ducking" angry but not when "you're" giving me advice...

Unto Oblivion, We Depart

author comment

Always remember that not being able to change the past, and that we are the survivors of all those bad times, we should then take those days as a reminder to make our present the best there ever has been so that we can say "look we learned the lessons they showed us and improved the world"
Sorry that is something I wish for how stupid of me to think that mankind could change.
Later we will resurrect the Epics we wrote for Wesley to show what can be done within the old stories..
Good write, keep them coming,
Yours Ian

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Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

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