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I am death

Your world hates me
The rich despite me
The poor respect me
The youth plays with me
Elders claim to be ready for me

When I have invited the world cries
They all start to care
The sweet words they never told you rise
Those who rejected you want another chance
Those who cursed you speak you good

Your family members lose touch
Fearing they can't do much
Reminisces over a sad lunch
Promises losing their plot

You worth more with me than with life
I can take you by a knife
Cause you to be mine through a stroke
Give you stress by being broke
I am the brother of life

I'm not sorry to be here
Some call me by Satan
But like life we are of nature

Mother nature is our single parent
We never have to even pay rent
We are naturally sent

You ate worth more dead than alive
They'll praise you once I've captured you
Once I've got you I'll not let you of my view

Welcome to death

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

Well done.

You worth more with me than with life
did you mean?
You're worth more with me than with life

You ate worth more dead than alive
You are worth more dead than alive (this doesn't make sense to me)

Once I've got you I'll not let you of my view
Once I've got you I'll not let you know of my view?

Despite seeming flaws an excellent write.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Managing Directors, with Richard (themoonman)

we are putting together a committee of African poets to ensure representation by Africans, addressing their particular needs, interest and cultural difference.. So far we have mostly Nigerians.

Would you be interested in volunteering?

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Managing Directors, with Richard (themoonman)

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