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I Am The Batman (Dramatic Verse Wes WS)

The years may have passed
but I'm still haunted by the past.
one which compels me to grow stronger
to strive until time turns me to dust
and another took my place
to lay the corrupted to waste.

Gotham is no longer the same heaven it used to be
it reeks with despair as parasites
suck the livelihood of the hepless innocents
,who have no strength to fight for their rights

I refuse to let this scum do as they please
I cannot save my loved ones from their murderer
but I can and I will do my best to defend
the civilians here from another killer.

I will spread fear in the hearts
of rapists, murderers and mobsters
as I strike from the shadows
under the moonlit glow,
using my stealth and fighting skills
I will triumph through a strong will.
This be my vow,
let the heavens be my witness
once and for all.

The darkness is my ally,
hiding me from my enemies
as I picked on them one by one
before the return of the sun
and I'll end my dance.

I am the symbol of justice
in a city that breeds vermins among men.
I am the fighter for peace
I am the innocents' vengeance
Let the mortal demons fear me,
for I am
The Batman!

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

When is you going to assemble those merry men/women of yours, to try and track me down.
Now to write of batman he's nothing but a fictional clown.
Good write, but I shall not take flight,
but will soon let you know where I will be.
By the liberty Bell is where I will dwell.
On all souls night plus three.
Beware if you are there, and don't see me.
Just don't accept an invite to tea.
Not sure what the menu will be.
A Chinese or Thai will see me by.
With bean shoots thrown in free.
I am sure you will cut a fine figure, He, He, He,
Take care my friend come dine with me,
Yours Digit, with great expectancy.

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Have I not PM Ian telling about the posting of 'Irene Gray.", the last member of my merry men/women? Maybe you should ask him to check it out first, 'else it won't be fair if I write another one, especially when I did hinted the next write of the hunter series at the end of the poem. By the way, I am waiting for Digit's another tale after I've read about Carrie's Nevermore in Wes's workshop? Your next story is yet to be written, sir. Alas, I'm disappointed.lol. Now who's the one falling behind, hmm? (raising an eyebrow)

Alid

author comment

A good reply but have you not seen the piece where I go to Florida to see an old School friend lol.
It is spoken of in Florida's Undercurrents, hope you enjoy.
Good write on Batman though will keep both eyes open for you, Yours, Jack..

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

You have already posted one Soliloquy before, so I guess this is posted as a sequel to that as the dramatic verses. If so, I see this more like a soliloquy since it is all about one character. Moreover, as many have suggested, it would be more impacting if you give a name to the character. The venomous and retaliatory mood of the character has been depicted pretty well..

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

Actually the first one is not related to this at all. The first is about a boxer and this one is about a superhero.emmm, should they be related? I just post it for practice.

Alid

author comment

Thanks for this update / clarification.

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

It's only in my closing search that I come across it and me a Batman fan.
This is a blast. A clean soliloquy.
Here are my suggestions though.
You need to proofread. There are typographical errors all through this work. Your poetry is sound enough to deserve a clean delivery. Examples: "Civilian" has but one "L". Instead of "these scums" how about "this scum". The first is grammatically clumsy.
Also, most importantly... "I am The Batman".
The proofreading is the most important. It is the single greatest tool you have. Use it. Don't allow anything you write to slip through your fingers without being EXACTLY what you intend. This includes poetry, comments and critiques. Be precise. You are a writer. If you were building a house would you build it with nails missing or in the wrong place?

On a different subject (and I want you to PM me with any and all suggestions), Rula and I will be starting the collaborative workshop as soon as I get Stan's official permission. I trust I will have your help in the endeavor.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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Salam khalid
I guess I don't have much to say after sir Wesley's approval, but I will make sure to revisit after cleaning.
Good job here!

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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