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I ain't no Martin Sinatra!

I'd love a smoking jacket
Quilted blue and gold;
A plush black velvet collar
Outstanding, rich and bold.
I'd wear it proudly every day
Like 'fifties' movie pics,
I'd wear it all the while as like
Sinatra in the flicks.

I'd love a glass of bourbon
Like Dino in his songs;
I'd always have it next to me
Right there where it belongs.
I'd often take a sip from it
To help me slur my speech;
I'd keep it, always, close to hand ~
Seldom out of reach.

I'd love, thereon my outfit
(Upon the jacket breast)
To bear my name's initial
Embroidered on my chest.
Then I could do it my way,
That old wine drinker me ~
My jacket and my tumbler glass
For all my friends to see.

I'd love my smoking jacket,
A cigarette in hand;
Looking rather Oh so cool
Ah yes! I have it planned.
But now that I remind myself ~
As I pause to think,
I may not enjoy either as
I neither smoke nor drink.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

A very good piece. Though I don't think the title fits.

chimaono

I always wondered about the title so good that you have commented. I feel I have to keep (Dean) Martin and (Frank) Sinatra in the title to kind of identify who I am talking about but I didn't want it too long. I 'invented' the name Martin Sinatra to make it sound curious (but shorter), therefore people might read on. I wonder if I ought to place a comma between the two names ~ I ain't no Martin, Sinatra (that's an Englishman trying to sound American!!!) or Martin~Sinatra. I'll have to sleep on it.

.......................................
Critique is a compliment
Kind regards, Alan
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author comment

as much as I now do this poem

Sinatra brushes by me

His last flick I did see

What name had it
my red wine drowns me
Sinatra
where would now you be

Frank and Dino still have many fans around the world. I'm always being asked to play their songs when backing singers old and young.
It's kind of you to compliment my poem, I hope it made you smile.

.......................................
Critique is a compliment
Kind regards, Alan
.......................................

author comment

can you sing some poem of mine

Everything has to work right with a song lovedly. I write songs but they have to be ok with the singer or they can't be used, sometimes not for years.

.......................................
Critique is a compliment
Kind regards, Alan
.......................................

author comment

thanks you white washed it
musically noted

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