Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
I
In a world full of sorrow,
I will be the light
In a place full of wrongs
I will make it right
When everyone is blind
I’ll keep my precious sight
And hold on ‘till tomorrow
Through troubled day to calming night
Something tells me that this ship
Will not win its final fight
But we pray to distant gods
That everything will be alright
It’s a sad and sunken vessel
Rid of strength and lacking might
But forever facing forward
I will not give up the fight!
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
c lynn brooks
Sun, 2019-11-17 14:59
nice
one suggestion
last line instead of won't the use of
I will not give up the fight might work better here
Chrys
check out our chat room open to all 24/7
ThisIsMe
Tue, 2019-11-26 14:28
Re
Got it, thanks!
Geezer
Tue, 2019-12-31 05:35
Okay, but not...
as good as most of your other stuff! ~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.