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The "Horses Mid-stream" rule

Submitted by brittle light on Fri, 2016-05-27 20:09

Dream street
flash and glitter,
blinding reality under
bright lights
and illusion,

he joins the menagerie
parading to grandeur
in festive camraderie;
the come-hither lure.

But soon, that scene fades....

"Let the games begin".

Taking more than his share
of bumps and bruises,
a wistful initiate's
small town ego
goes limping
sideways,
sullen,
and confused.

Whittled down
novitiate sized,
he plows ahead
enduring
grueling ordeals,
hoping only to survive.

Though demeaned and debased,
every day
as he awakes
he asks,
...who am I?

and 'who' will I have become
when
having finally arrived?

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - draft

Comments

Esker

Sun, 2016-06-26 23:13

Esker's picture

like the use of the word "Initiates"
a rarely found word in most common
usage...

having finally arrived..
the before..the being..and the there after..
our subconcious (sp) mind is full of
a physics current
like it or lump it..
Like that line too
the battered with the battle of life

we get swept along
forever changing
as much as we are wont to
hold onto that which has
evolved about us
into an almost unrecognizable
pattern

I like that U put that question
to the reader..

and the whole 'arrival' thing
modern gaming....super realism
on these machines always
just ends...
like a trilogy of books or poems
a relationship
or loss of senses
as we age or accident
genes
others etc..

makes me think this one

thank u!

brittle light

Tue, 2016-10-04 17:28

brittle light's picture

thank you again for your thoughts and support
the feedback is nourishing

Al

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