Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Hope in it's glory (jan contest)

The old year ended
so glad to see it leave
the new year extended
this was too much to believe

Looking ahead
my only relief
scattered and dead
like an old fall leaf

nothing there but a tunnel of light
how to get through
this was my plight
hope will surely ring loud and true

Editing stage: 
Contest: 

Comments

you will need time
to get here your treat

happy Jan
your maiden contest
all the best

Thank You

Let your mercy spill on all those
burning hearts in hell( L.Cohen)

author comment

points. A typo, [too] much to believe. Do leaves shatter? I rather think that it should be [tattered].
~ Gee.
.

Come to Chat on the Darkside
every other Saturday night 8pm to ?
Bring your dark and delicious work
to show.

no not a typo if I used too that would indicate also. So using to is correct No leaves scatter lol thanks for pointing that out
Chrys

Let your mercy spill on all those
burning hearts in hell( L.Cohen)

author comment

Crys. However I have to vote with Geezer on the 'to'. I read it as 'too'.
I referred to one of my sacred sources, a rock and roll record by America's own Chuck Berry ~ 'Too much monkey business' and that can't be wrong. Give it a listen, he definitely sings too.

.......................................
Critique is a compliment
Kind regards, Alan
.......................................

I think Too would be correct as it can also connote more than needed. But otherwise a succinct poem for the new year........stan

consulted with a retired English teacher and as such have changed it too
thanks agin for your input

Let your mercy spill on all those
burning hearts in hell( L.Cohen)

author comment

did you change it also or too much? just being a smart ass or at least half of one lol

...in the title. Apostrophes are so simple to understand.

If you insist on omitting punctuation (what a total cliché that is, btw), then you should surely drop all capital letters too. Consistency.
.

xxx
Edna
Poet(ess) to the Stars

O dear. People like you just won't accept corrections.
.

xxx
Edna
Poet(ess) to the Stars

Earlier this year, you wrote (I quote verbatim) "when reviewing a poem please keep in mind the little list that ask for intensity sensitive subject raw truth and follow the request also thank someone when they critique your work as they took the time to read and suggest. You do not have to use their suggestions as written in stone but be good enough to acknowledge the time given to read and critique"

I haven't spotted your "thank you" note yet. Naturally, you are totally free to leave in bad grammar. That is your prerogative. But, according to your own writing, you should say thank you.
.

xxx
Edna
Poet(ess) to the Stars

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.