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Honors of Love

I shivered at the fearsome thing,
this affliction that found you here
amongst all your beauty

I could never find the words
to offer as medals and ribbons
I wanted to give you
for wrestling and sparring
with a cruel and indifferent foe

While somehow finding the courage
to provide an embracing home
for the audacity to hope

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
For my dear friend, and wishing he was still here.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Good rhythm and it flows natural. I liked how you succinctly expressed it.

Apt yet very impressive!

"Poetic license
gives
the poets
the free will to
embroider a good tale
and deviate from the established rules of language"~Jackweb

Always appreciate your thoughts Onyinyechi! Thank you!

Cheers

Michael Anthony

author comment

A LOT put into such few words. I have no suggestions to offer

Assuming you enjoyed the piece Scrib, so that's how I'll take your comments.

Like many of my poems, this one started out quite a bit longer. For better or worse, I spend a LOT of time carving them down to only what I think is necessary to convey my thoughts, imagery, and message (and boy is this painful when I really like a phrase or a stanza but it doesn't fit within the poem's flow, logic, or my apparent obsession with brevity, LOL!). This approach also helps me avoid going off on tangents that might muddy some or all of the aforementioned elements.

Cheers

Michael Anthony

author comment

some of the greatest poems ever written are far from being brief so I'd not sacrifice what you love just to achieve brevity. After all, Frost could have just said " i came to a fork in the fall woods and decided to take the one less travelled"

Thanks Scrib! I don't see it as a trade-off. It either works or it doesn't within the piece I'm writing. I have a large file of not-used items that often fit elsewhere. Maybe "painful" was the wrong term.

Cheers

Michael Anthony

author comment

At some point in our lives, we have to loose someone so close and so dear. I feel your grief. Nice poem.

Thank you Ifeanyichukwu! Appreciate you taking the time to stop by and offer your thoughts.

Best

Michael Anthony

author comment

I read the care and worry in your words of the poem...both you and your wife's courage shines through. please allow hope to carry you through this. I "wish" that your hope is rewarded. my favorite lines are:

I could never find the words
to offer as medals and ribbons
I wanted to give you
for wrestling and sparring
with a cruel and indifferent foe

*hugs to both of you, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Thanks CW! Always appreciate your visits.

Best

Michael Anthony

author comment

So very emotional, yet not overweight with wordy lines.
Kudos to you! I should try to do more with less once in awhile. ~ Geez.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

This was a tough loss some years ago, so thanks for sharing your thoughts on this one Geez!

Best

Michael Anthony

author comment
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