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the Honesty Flower

I'll tell you the tale of the Honesty Flower.
Yes, truly, there is such a thing.
And crave one, you will, for your own private bower,
once hearing the song I’m to sing.

There once was a handsome, but lonely young prince,
who wanted to find a good spouse.
A fun-loving fellow, but not just that, since,
it seems that he also had nous.

He gave every maiden, who lived in his kingdom,
a seed to plant, nurture and groom;
and told them he, truly, would marry the one
who grew the most unblemished bloom.

They all took their seed, and withdrew to their digs,
and nourished it through the dark winter,
and when spring arrived, they showed off their twigs
that burst forth in radiant splendour.

Returning with bright efflorescence, each one,
except for a young servant girl.
‘Though try as she might, seems nothing she’d done
had caused e’en a bud to unfurl.

She stood there so sadly, she looked a poor plight.
while beautiful ladies all slot
around her with blossoms of purist delight,
while laughing at her empty pot.

The prince then began his inspection of view,
and seemed to be taken aback
by all the bright posies of various hue,
there was pink, yellow, red, baby blue, even lilac.

He paused by the girl, then continued his round,
and slowly went right through the place.
Then started again, ‘til again, he was found
standing before she who felt such disgrace.

And, surprising to all, he proclaimed her his queen.
A test he had set there indeed.
He’d honesty sought, to this purpose had seen
to each girl a sterile, dead seed.

Then calling the Court's best magician to measure,
he ordered a waving of mace.
And from her bare pot grew a silver-leaved treasure;
a cluster with petals of soft, violet lace.

So never believe that to cheat has the power
to get you your greatest desire.
The princess was given her own special flower,
named after her virtue, that all should admire.
.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

This is so, so clever, witty and well written. I found myself smiling throughout - love the message and the flower itself is beautiful.

Can't see anything to crit, change or improve.

Love Mand xxx

The flower is very beautiful, all the variations of it -
I love the leaves on the silver dollar...

I'm so very glad you enjoyed this
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

I like this one(as almost everything I read from your pen). I remember reading this a while ago. I think it is related to the chinese culture, if I remember well.
I was once told that when you re-write a well know story, you have to add to it or do a slight change. I think the flower bit called Honesty is of your addition?

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

:(
Just joking

Thanks Rula
Yes, the original is about a boy, Liam, i think his name was .... same story, but his honesty led him to become the king's adopted son...
Lol - don't know what his mother thought of that...

and yes, I think the flower part is mine... but then, I can't be sure it isn't something I read at some stage, and has sat at the back of my consciousness, to be claimed by me when it has eventually been clouded by poor memory - lol

love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

You are truly a genius. To put together a poem with such a captivating story and also follow the abab rhyme sequence through and through is pretty tough...atleast for someone like me who struggled with the sonnet...

just one query...do you think in Stanza 4 winter and splendor in lines 1 and 3 are true rhymes?

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

for the lovely comment

No, winter / splendour is only near rhyme
But allowed here, as the poem is not a strict form, simply quatrains in mixed tetra and trimeter
The rules are less strict...

Love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

I love the honesty plant with its flowers then its what you call silver dollar seed pods, If you do grow some be sure to rub the seed pod between finger and thumb then they will gleam.
A good write don't forget that cinders and a glass slipper has already made it to number one.
Lovely story and could be an epic, the growing of the plants by the young girl then the waiting and the ranges of feelings, till that final day of being picked for the simplicity of her ways,
Yours as always Ian xx

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

For the visit and great comments
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

the beautiful one
will be the only one
so lucky
to bear more and many princely seed
and indeed!

the Prince was wise and flattered
just a dry seed was not all that mattered
to her too she wanted a seed
which would give life
to flowers for ever
of beauty
your poetry
so does to me reveal
let no one such a girl
from the world ever steal
I reel!

Now I appeal
will you shear
the waffly part of me
just peal!

for the read and comment

are you asking me to edit the roses poem?
last time... exams start after this ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, :)
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

This comment here
was an extempore
did I really bore?
I shan't trouble you no more
but teacher poet friend
do not me ever ignore
you are my monumental poet
hope I do you assure

i still intend to review your edits,
i just want you to start thinking more for yourself, cos you are quite capable... i think you're just lazy sometimes...

look at where you repeat things, or say things that are not really pertaining to the theme of the write
you get carried away trying to use rhyme, and lose the impact of your other words with words that are superflous

i'm not giving up on you, silly
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment
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