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Homesick

Submitted by weirdelf on Mon, 2012-04-30 02:55

When I was a kid,
I took a job
working the iron ore mines
in far north west Australia

only criminals
or men on the run for other reasons
worked there then

and me
a bourgeois kid
18

my first night in town
I was rescued from serial rapists
the welcoming committee

Dave Mason,
who rescued me
I saw beaten to a bloody pulp
my last night in town
while I was held by the throat
above the ground
to witness

But

While I lived there
in fear and dissent
of values most horrid

I saw the universe.

Just wandered out of the lights
of the concentration camp,
called a workers residence

and looked up
into the clear desert sky.
Stars
like I had never seen before
in that bright black sky
3d
so deep
my knees crumbled
with vertigo,
this planet became tiny
truly
the universe became home to me

Will always be my home.

And leave me ever
homesick.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

judyanne

Mon, 2012-04-30 03:07

judyanne's picture
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who claims to not like this type of self-examining poetry
i think you have done a wonderful job jess

i really got into this
quite captivating
and so agree with you with the feeling of when viewing the sky in its glory
- awesome finish - so describes it
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

weirdelf

Mon, 2012-04-30 03:37

weirdelf's picture
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some will recognise this as a repost.
Some of the new friends I am meeting don't know my backlist.
I suspect there might be things in the works maybe to allow us to publish our backlists as finished poems, without flooding the Stream

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

author comment

loved

Mon, 2012-04-30 04:12

loved's picture

One can imagine now, how the

Environment,
Circumstances
and
Genetic import
influences all living after all.
and
as you said rapists
also you were just i8 ,
you refrained to state your experiences...
I once had a master German ,
who on the tune of the German song ,
I forget now ,
would just turn around
and
at all blow
when he heard the song,
i know but now it slips my memory ,
so though at the tip of my forehead
i can still hear the...
yess ,yess
Boggie March song
t'was.

loved

PRECIOUSLYSET1

Mon, 2012-04-30 07:08

PRECIOUSLYSET1's picture

A WONDERFUL TALE INDEED!! simple to read but the story told
has the ability to transport oneself
into anothers shoes with graceful ease
bravo my dear elfin cohort to be

Alone we shall find our ways into worlds of never imagined discoveries

Kailashana2

Mon, 2012-04-30 08:41

Even I don't remember this one, Jess. Thank you for reposting.

Have you read *Shantaram*? It's based on true stories by an other Aussie, Gregory David Roberts. http://www.shantaram.com/

The book was to have been made into a movie staring Johnny Depp a couple of years ago.

Your poem reminds me of his journeys. (He too is a poet.)

~A

weirdelf

Mon, 2012-04-30 08:51

weirdelf's picture
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and I'll check that out

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

author comment

Esker

Mon, 2012-04-30 12:56

Esker's picture

I like the poem very much
timeless now feeling
and with its impact
and subtle powers

thank You

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