Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

HOME MOVIES-- edited

Submitted by Geremia on Thu, 2012-07-05 07:20

HOME MOVIES

Home movies black and white
faded celluloid 1940s
16 millimeter dry and brittle
flickering through time
a blinding light
and we splice a life
back together
again...
empty reflections
of yesterdays
flickering through time

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Kailashana2

Thu, 2012-07-05 08:35

Try to find another word(s) instead of *soulless*. Maybe omit it if you can't.

Well, my opinion anyway, it's too redundant, and overused in poetry. Otherwise, this is another poem that rates another look. ;-)

~A

Geremia

Thu, 2012-07-05 11:57

Geremia's picture

ok "soulless" is gone to "empty''

author comment

Geremia

Thu, 2012-07-05 11:53

Geremia's picture

ok "souless" is gone to "empty''

author comment

Ian.T

Fri, 2012-07-06 03:50

Ian.T's picture
Volunteer badge

A good theme and well presented Anna's change seems to have worked as it read OK,
Yours Ian.T
PS:- hope you are coping with things, the children send their unconditional love, Sadie and friends

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Geremia

Fri, 2012-07-06 06:48

Geremia's picture

Barely functional at times. wheel chsir most of timr. sick from meds ,but I LOOK DAMN GOOD. Go figure.:)

author comment

Kailashana2

Fri, 2012-07-06 09:39

It's been said that nature abhors a vacuum. Your Gerimia-ness remains intact. Think of all the ugly people who are well enough. rofl.

Geremia

Fri, 2012-07-06 10:06

Geremia's picture

i guess.

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.