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Hologram [ Abstract Words, Abstract Poetry WS]
I was drawing lines and time lines
moving ziz zag, connecting points
some dotted, disappearing from sight
returning in a parabolic flight
some ran parallel
others angular
acute, obtuse, perpendicular
no pencil, no paper
no ruler, no eraser
just an unruly behavior
I paused. looked back,
mystified at the collage
I panned it, scanned it
flashed my eyelids
click, double click, flash
before I knew
the lens crashed
blotting out all lines
of the hologram
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Editing stage:
Workshop:
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Comments
Rula
Wed, 2016-06-01 15:40
hello raj
Another nice attempt to abstract word/world. For me this reads more like scientific-fictional poetry.
I therefore, with my literary background admit that it's beyond my comprehension, but the mysterious touch there together with the title make me want to dig deeper.
A good title BTW.
PS. did you want 'zigzag' in your last line?
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raj
Wed, 2016-06-01 15:23
Thanks Rula for indulging in
Thanks Rula for indulging in decoding this attempt.. I will wait just in case more happen to visit this page and share their perception, before I share what I have attempted here..thanks also for comment on the title...good to know you liked it..
Regards,
raj (sublime_ocean)
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