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Hoard to love

For some people, enough is never enough constantly trying to grow their piles of stuff
Thinking it shields them, of our world so tough
But really it's the burden to carry so dam much
Stepping over this rubbish, so afraid to touch
Shackled in thoughts with material they clutch holding so tight, their own hearts begin to rust

Wake the fuck up, you're only what you think
There's no time to waist, yes no time to blink
We're existence stampeding towards it's brink
Shoving all its problems under the kitchen sink
Until all our skeletons in closets begin to stink
& We still must interlink before we go extinct

We're so attached to these ideas we conceive
We cannot fathom the propaganda we believe
So we only perceive this little love we receive
Ready to give all & wear hearts on our sleeve
But if you connect the dots, we're only naive
Awaiting the change we still can't interweave

Self love shouldn't be such a difficult labor
But it is when supporting others toxic behavior
We need to be braver & just say see ya later
Stop expecting others to change their flavor
& walk away from becoming our own disfavor
In becoming the naysayer to the misbehavior
Or just another Karen thinking she's a savior

See, Someday we won't ever wake up,
We'll be locked into old memories for which we made up, so live a life that's actually pretty underneath all the makeup, don't be afraid of all the people you shake up, if it hurts them to move then maybe its better you breakup, & wakeup to all the space in your life that they take up, straight up, you need to stay up, find yourselves then raise up! Enough is enough!

One life, one choice, one word, one voice
All is love, all is love, all is love, all is love

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Explicit Content

Comments

Hoard to love is a nice written piece. A rhyme serves three distinct functions in the art of writing poetry: It gives poetry a typical symmetry that differentiate poetry from prose. It makes recital of poetry a pleasurable experience for the readers as the repetitive patterns renders musically and rhythm to it.

But using ampersand (&) in poetry is not good to make use of. Poetry is an art that uses aesthetic qualities.

Nicely written!
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"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".

~Jackweb

author comment

I appreciate the criticism and will definitely work at bettering my wording & organizing. I've slowly been working at shrinking my phrases to better blend my meaning to kick in the best it can. Thank you for taking the time to read & for the kind compliments aswell.

author comment

That's why we are here helping each other.
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"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".

~Jackweb

your interwoven use of the stanza with a stanza of prose poetry [S5] is interesting. I've only experimented with it a few times. Nice piece!

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Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
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Thank you, it comes from my experience in writing music lyrics. I've been digging deeper in my flow to create a smooth transition between the two and I'm glad to hear that it resonates to you. I'm glad you enjoyed it, thank you for reading!

author comment
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