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Hiraeth

Sometime soon,
my great boon
would to find the planet where I was born
I'll know by feel more than sight
the gravity will be light.

The days are thirty six hours long
and the nights eighteen
it's where I truly belong
it's where I should have been

Most folk are civilised and know
that such ideas are unbecoming
yet they do not really show
how hard it is to get up each morning

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Hiraeth- Hiraeth is a Cymraeg (Welsh) word which doesn't translate well into English. It is a deep longing for home.
Editing stage: 

Comments

This reads well and is to the point. the theme is unusual which only makes it that much more intriguing. All in all, one of the better poems I have read by you for awhile. Nice write.

appreciated

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
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author comment

Thanks Jess for the explanation in last few words without which I wouldn't have known the meaning of Hiraeth. The title fits the poem and its theme "longing" and i found this poem conveying it very crisply..

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

I can identify that I seldom feel like I'm where I Really belong> I suspect many folks are like that. I liked the use of rhyme and near rhyme as well as your decision to break rhyme when it suited you. A fine example of the direction in which I think poetry is headed.............stan

for your thoughts

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

I like the lucidity in this. I think it is the first to rhyme poem I read from you and it isn't bad at all. In fact it could be good exemplary of unforced rhymes poem and the theme is unusual. It is inspirational in a way.
thank you for sharing.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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one that resonates with many of us. Though a lot of people feel like they do not belong where they are, we often do not realize that we are not alone in this. You could have done a little better with the rhythm, but over-all, I liked the work. ~ Gee

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I'll certainly work on that.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

Loved the simplicity of this one much quieter than your usual word spread.
I always look up your words and as you say it was Welsh then I was doubly interested..

Hiraeth

Hiraeth is a longing for one's homeland, but it's not mere homesickness. It's an expression of the bond one feels with one's home country when one is away from it.

As soon as I step over the border into Wales my hiraeth evaporates. I am home.
Seems like a lovely welsh word, how do you find such words are you reading dictionaries ??lol.
More of a feeling than a word, great find,
Yours Ian..
There is another explanation of the word, something to do with Condensed time lapse photography, but also from Wales..

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

sshhh, don't tell, I think I found it on Facebook

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

I wont tell anyone that you found it on "Face Book",
But it shows how just one word can turn the keys into a great writing creature,
Go well young Jess and keep in touch more, Yours As always Ian, Anne and the children..
PS:- Today a Dunnock flew into our sitting room window, the light must have blinded him temporarily, I held him in my hands to wait for him to recover but he must have been badly hurt, his spirit flew away but left me sad and a feeling of emptiness in that I could not heal him.
But life goes on and we must attend to its needs,
yours Ian..

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

I got same isssues
not nervousness like some
some get literally sick
but of the weight...
that gravity as you say....

off I go...

thank U

I am starting to understand some of the connections between bipolar and anxiety disorders. Sure, we all hate labels but they can help in getting the right help

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment
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