Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Hey You

Shelter lies dormant amidst it's beckoning plow
We look inside still deeper then ever before to hear that small still voice
A pathway of resistance at the expense of whom
The parchment décor had developed a specific style

A blade of grass drifting in the wind outside
We lay naked much to afraid to face the elements
Look up to the sky we paint pictures of a far away land
As a society we have become blinded by the noise

In early Spring is when I begin to face the music
To lovingly caress a cat as though it's the feline's last date with destiny
Hence the opened door a willingness to explore
Gone are the days I used to frolic in a haze today I stuck as a mouse is in it's maze

In the game of life your time is very brief it's left to heavenly relief
Hey You out there beside the stillness in the grass
No one gets out on any free pass
We align our thoughts with the stars those metal bars

To frolic in the given ambiance of the moment
Such as stone on the water front
Let us search the pages of truth to gain our eternal destiny
Amidst fever pitched noise & apathy

Editing stage: 

Comments

Clearly the novice never arrived

Mario Vitale

author comment

Your poem started out in your normal write then evolved into a more lyrical write the later is much better and I think that with you way of putting words together will make a great poet of you, just pay attention to some form or another as exercises in writing.
I checked on your favourite poets and your writing mirrors the style of John Ashbery and Major Jackson, try to have a read of other classical poets just as a lesson on differing styles, some of these works are like short stories in their layout.
A good write and will await the next, Yours Ian..

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

Great Poem!
very well worded
a texture of splendor
and light
with the pang of
the dissapating
effervescent!

Thank U!

Mr Wolf!

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.