Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Here & Walhalla

In a harsh environment
We look for allies sometimes
If you take your light away I will not die
Is the reflection so ghastly?
That’s okay, turn away
I love truth, & have no respect for a lie.

I have touched hearts I never truly knew
loved lines irrelevant, & found I grew
I never asked a thing from you
I just thought that we might share

Long past a midnight cemetery
We lay on the stones for the view
I was lost in my isolation - & longing for you
So when the stars shared their virtuous wisdom
From that inky black endlessness void
I fell upward toward hopeless future - & morning’s blue

Here I am, for the offering bidders
Though the audience dwindles to none
I hold grace in the face of abandonment
Since the only moon here is the One

& she glows with reflected suns glory
& she smiles at the dawn of my eyes
& she sings a deep howl with an echo
since She saves the words for the wise.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
A mixed response & memory - they fell out that way - I don't expect they will make sense to anyone else, though we've all felt alone, that's normal.
Editing stage: 

Comments

It's true that it is normal to feel alone once in a while. Forgive my saying so, It almost sounds as though one is having a conversation with one's alter-ego. In any case, I like it and I gives me the sense that there are those out there, that are no more secure than I. We just talk ourselves into feeling good enough to take the chance and put ourselves out there. ~ Gee.
.

Please acknowledge critique and comments.
They are a vital part of our community!
Critique or comment today!

You are probably right, it was a fragmented kind of write that took my focus totally in a different direction half way through to a long ago memory. I don't know Gee, we're all a bit freaked out in Aus after the rarity of racial shootings in NZ, & it's more of the same thing that used to disturb me when I was here... Maybe I'm just naive, but I don't get why people want to nurse their hatred & nastiness & make innocent people pay for their choices in life... we all do our own dance, sometimes we find other kind hearts (like you Gee, you are a comfort to me, but I don't expect any reciprocation from you) to travel with for a moment or more, but ultimately we have to sort our own stuff & sometimes that is lonely... & often more lonely when others are involved than it would be if it was solitary.

Writing, to me, is quite solitary, Neo is good for me because it forces me to interact about it. It's all good.

Cheers
Anni

My dear friend always told me "Water the seeds of joy first"

author comment

the why of it, but not the why. In case that doesn't make sense; I understand that these deranged minds that kill other [innocent] people, having nothing to do with their problem[s], do it. It is because the taking of life is the ultimate objection to their situation in this world. There would be nothing more terrible to do, than that. This, in their minds, shows the world how really pissed off they are. The rest of the [normal] world, sees nothing but the aftermath and it leaves us asking why? ~ Gee.
.

Please acknowledge critique and comments.
They are a vital part of our community!
Critique or comment today!

as awful as it is... still makes me crumple at the gut though, it's sign of having no compassion for any other. Just so wrong & nothing could excuse it... Heartbreaking.

Cheers
Anni

My dear friend always told me "Water the seeds of joy first"

author comment

Often if I write rhyming poetry, it is actually a song lyric, as that's how I began writing with an ear for others to hear... so it would be a song if I were to bring it to an open mic... Sadly we no longer have one locally... but they come & go & I could travel to one when the time/energy allows... Thank you for your encouragement, you have such warmth & generosity. Very glad you were not chased off. You are a blessing here in my opinion x

Cheers
Anni

My dear friend always told me "Water the seeds of joy first"

author comment

had a chance but blew it. Do you need more detail?

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.