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Her new sun

Submitted by zuella on Wed, 2024-09-04 07:33

She had always hated the sun shining through and waking her up in the morning
Until the sun had hands wrapped around her waist and soft lips to her forehead

And the sun whispered with a warm breath that he loved her

And now there was no moon

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Comments

neopoet

Wed, 2024-09-04 13:33

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The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

This poem effectively conveys a transformation in the speaker's feelings towards the sun, from annoyance to affection. The imagery of the sun having hands, lips, and the ability to whisper adds a vivid and imaginative layer to the poem. The shift in the speaker's perspective is clear and impactful. However, the ending line, "And now there was no moon," could be further developed to enhance the overall message and coherence of the poem. Consider expanding on the significance of the absence of the moon in relation to the newfound love for the sun to provide a more nuanced and complete conclusion.

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Geezer

Wed, 2024-09-04 09:46

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it happens that way. Call it fate, karma, whatever. ~ Geezer.
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zuella

Wed, 2024-09-04 17:28

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Hey geezer! Long time no see haha.
Yeah, happy karma

The normal fear the poets and the poets fear the normal.
Thank you for your time!
-Zuella

author comment

Lavender

Wed, 2024-09-04 16:24

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Hello, zuella,
My interpretation of this poem is that the narrator has a new lover who has made the morning time, once harsh, now sweet and bearable. I really like the softness and brevity. I'm not certain of the final line. I am curious - is there now a negative association to the moon? I'll be back after your response.
Thank you!
Lavender

zuella

Wed, 2024-09-04 17:33

zuella's picture

Hey Lavender, thank you for your comment. I wrote this off the top of my mind in about two minutes because it just popped into my head and I had to quickly put it down before I forgot it and when re-reading it, I interpreted the moon to be a feeling rather than a person. A negative feeling, the one that makes you feel lonely. This is not to say that I do not like the moon, one of my most favourite poems of all time is about the moon, but in this poem, the moon is negative, it is up to you who or what that negative is though! Thank you again for the comment!

The normal fear the poets and the poets fear the normal.
Thank you for your time!
-Zuella

author comment

Lavender

Wed, 2024-09-04 22:29

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It does feel lonely, now...

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