The sluggish air of a steamy night
Muffles the stealthy sounds
Furtive movement held back from sight
Whilst I made my rounds

My hearing rang with nervousness
Heart pounding with adrenaline
My brain was trying to assess
What could all this really mean?

My eyes beheld an awful sight
Did I really see?
My skin crawled and I took fright
He was on bended knee

Pools of blood and flashing blade
Made my stomach churn
From unholy meat, thin steaks were made
But, from the sight, I couldn't turn

Just then he turned and stared at me
His eyes were black as night
I saw the signs of insanity
I saw he weren't quite right

He grinned and growled, as I froze
I wet myself right there
Tears were running down my nose
Cold sweat was in my hair

Don't worry none, policeman Joe
I've got my fill right here
Pretend you're blind and you can go
Sealed lips have naught to fear

Do come by, some evening soon
For dinner and a drink
We'll play some cards, have some tunes
Do you like your roast real pink?

Now it's been a year since we first met
That guy can really cook!
I never would have made the bet
But, one taste was all it took!