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Heat

Submitted by Sen99 on Thu, 2022-08-11 05:00

Night sweats are the worst
Wet dreams and soaked sheets
Water lost in darkness
it's so hot mosquitos dying
Flies circle around our mouths
Looking for moisture

By day the oasis was a lie
A fake desert with plastic trees
This heat evaporated the seas
Hot air, stultifying breath

Rubber roads melted by the mirage
Car tyres blow and burn
Red fire engines on fire
Sit and pray for rain, hosepipes failed
Steel warped by heat, train tracks derailed

Nervous systems feel nothing
Slowly cooking us alive
Inhuman heat a quiet killer

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Contest: 
Neopoem Of The Week Contest August 7th to August 13th
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Lavender

Thu, 2022-08-11 12:19

Lavender's picture
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Hello, Sen99,
Record breaking high temperatures around the world. I feel the oppression from the actual temperature here in your poem, but also the overbearing oppression that the heat causes, especially stanza three: the seas evaporating, the hosepipes failing. (Also, possibly "flies" instead of "files" in the fifth line in your opening stanza?) Very intense poem about a serious problem. So much to think about regarding our dear climate.
Thank you,
Lavender

Sen99

Thu, 2022-08-11 15:57

Sen99's picture

Have corrected my typo makes more sense now !
Thanks for commenting

author comment

Chiori

Thu, 2022-08-11 13:42

Chiori's picture

Then this is complete hell then, your use of Word is. Unique

always remember to make a critique of other poems
using the hoe is not madness for nothing

Sen99

Thu, 2022-08-11 16:00

Sen99's picture

Yes extreme heat can be a bit hellish

author comment

Jackweb

Fri, 2022-08-12 00:23

Jackweb's picture

The latent heat associated with melting of a solid is called the heat of fusion.

The most discomforting feeling around me is heat ! It causes restiveness and anger.

.

"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".

~Jackweb

Sen99

Fri, 2022-08-12 04:49

Sen99's picture

thanks for your comment

author comment

Ray Whitaker

Fri, 2022-08-12 16:13

Ray Whitaker's picture

Gotta be tough there, 'cause of it.

you should submit this to your local publishing opportunities! I'm certain it would be well received.

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Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
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Sen99

Wed, 2022-08-17 04:24

Sen99's picture

We have had rain on Monday, nice downpour !

author comment
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