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Falling from a cliff,
Cloak of sickening cysts,
Bleeding from the chest,
Death wrapped in a kiss.

Just a heart beating,
Pain pumped through the veins,
Crimson red chronic,
Diseased infested brain.

Eyes filled with sorrow,
Deprivation of rest,
Flesh cries out in agony,
“Misery at its best.”

Fallen into darkness,
Between time and space,
Where masks are unmasked,
Where places are misplaced.

Where tears never dry,
Where fears never fade,
Where stars never shine,
Where shadows hide in shade.

Where sickness is in health
Where hatred loves
Where up is down,
And down is above.

Deep within the soul,
Where speech is misspoken,
Where it all fell apart,
Lays a heart broken.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 


This is a powerful write. Well depicting the emotion of being heartbroken.

Just a heart beating,
Pain pumped through the veins,
Crimson red chronic,
Diseased infested brain.

Excellent rhyming - I look forward to reading more of your poems.

Love Mand xxxxxxx

would love to see more of this emotional, well crafted writing.

A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'

The broken heart, a good write.
This has been brought out from 2011, I hope you can re-join us here and have a good time on this site.
To me the repeated words give rise to a thought, that better words could be found in this one, but theme wise it's good.
It will be great to have you back here I see that you have been a member for a few years now so I hope that we can enjoy your company and poems,
Yours Ian.T

There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

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