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Hear Your Heart

If you've ever heard
the beats of your heart,
you'd realize how great
they are.

their flawless
rhythm and rhyme
make the heart flow smoothly
to form the most
perfect sonnet
about life.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

This poem exhibits your special wisdom that makes you, you! A lovely thought put to paper! I loved it all. I have no suggestions, just appreciation for the work!

always, Cat

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

Candlewitch for your nice words.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

author comment

I fear too many are surrounded by so much "noise" that they Never hear their own heart speaking. In line 7 you might consider dropping "of"..................stan

You are probably right . Thanks for the visit and the correction. Always appreciated.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

author comment

a regular heart DUM DUM DUM is only the echo of the grave.
A heart that beats to poetry goes da DUM da DUM da DUM
and if it gets irregular it leads to the grave.

Only a heart that knows it's da DUM nature can change the beat without dying.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Managing Directors, with Richard (themoonman)

You're probably right. May be I stated it wrongly. Anything to suggest instead?

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

author comment

Any better?

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

author comment

better

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Managing Directors, with Richard (themoonman)

Now you have done it talking about De Dum's in your poetry you have awoken the great Elf of the southern skies, he will Da Dum at least five times a line of poetry, he also has a special name for it Penti something.
It is really good that you have attracted his words to this.
A fun write I don't think that I could take 14 lines of Da Dum's though lol.
Take care and a lovely write,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

rula
I always cringe when I see the word ‘beautiful’ as a descriptive… poetry is supposed to be describing it, using the word doesn’t work

find a word that, to you, describes the beauty of the sonnet

‘It has a unique regular’ - ‘it has’ should be 'they have' – your subject has been the beats, not the heart,
‘ de Dum de Dum’ – a bit mundane – onomatopeia I know, but weak imo
low and high pitches. – seems unnecessary to me – seems to be a repeat of ‘what you just said’

can I suggest something more like
with an unique regular
iambic thrum
a personal tone

‘this unique’ – you have used ‘unique’ already….

‘make the heart flow smoothly’ – (grammar - makes – needs an ‘s’)

‘ to form the most
beautiful sonnet – (and I’ve already said what I think of this :) )
Of life.’

with a few tweaks this would be an awesome write rula
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

Many thanks to all who visited and commented here
and a special one
to my dear friend Judy.:)

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

author comment
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