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Haunted

Haunted

Solemn stares from recent dead occupy the now
drifting past the threshold of despair
alone, I ponder what their eyes are saying
fast and loose, beyond abuse, without quite knowing how,
bringing dreams of what they cannot share
but leaving silent clues that are dismaying

howling winds in raucous chorus signify their might
blowing ash with utter disregard
indifferent, I contemplate the waste
here and there, most everywhere, long into the night,
until my mind begins to tremble hard
and reason becomes food beyond my taste

callous truth ensorcels love with morbid fantasy
etching lines of pain upon the flesh
reeling, I am now beset by fears
a twisted grin, a knot of sin, a cry of ecstacy,
all of this conspires to enmesh
my very heart without the prayer of tears

discerning spirits pester those with whom they wish to speak
words unuttered in their time on earth
listening, I learn and comprehend
a secret told, a vision bold, that leaves the soul quite weak,
searching for the reason of its birth
yet knowing such a search will never end

C. Lon R. Bruso

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 

Comments

This is a good one. My attempt to write on hauntings are usually simpler, like this one -

An old house in the village,
abandoned for many years.
I heard it is haunted
by the spirit of an angry mother.

Driven by curiousity,
I went there to investigate.
In the dark, the place is truly creepy
with wooden floor that creaks.

A foul smell filled the air,
reminding me of death and decay
Bah! it's nothing to fear, I thought
I willed my feet to stay

My gaze wandered to every corner,
every room and old furnitures
when out of the blue, a black cat appeared,
startling me when it leapt from above

Damn! I swore when I fell
and my torchlight slipped from my grip
then everything went to hell
beginning when the door closed by itself
I froze when I felt another's presence
touching me on my cheeks
there's the sound of deep breathing
right there in front of me.

I heard the windows moving
even though there's barely a gust of wind.
I picked myself up and something moved
laughing, mocking me as I sweat a river
I turned and fled
never once looking back
since then I never went near
the old house, long abandoned.

Alid

Yours is quite good also! Hope you are having a great day!

author comment

Lonnie.

Alid

thought provoking, I like it..

If it makes you think, then it was worth writing! LOL!! Hope you are having a great day!

author comment

thank you, yes I was having some problems in edit I finally figured out that copy and paste was messing up the lay out of my poem. Seems to be OK now that I hand typed it again. I think Haunted is a provocative subject and you did a very good job. cheers!

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