Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Happier days again

When in melancholy
the heart explodes
like a volcano

such words emanate
with love intermingled with sorrow
who knows of a tomorrow
life simply
day after day
till comes another
happier day

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 


I enjoyed most of this poem but found the last two lines "strange" almost out of place. I had to read it several times and the third repetition of "day" in such a short space of time is what is wrong for me.
I also found that the first three lines sounded OK but there was a major step to the rest of the poem. It read OK but when I stopped to try and understand it, to try and put those last lines in their place, I found I did not know where those "words" came from. Were they said by, or to, the subject of the poem. Maybe it doesn't matter? Maybe it does? I am still learning.

you will be able to make up ur mind
which way the river should flow


author comment
(c) No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.