I enjoyed most of this poem but found the last two lines "strange" almost out of place. I had to read it several times and the third repetition of "day" in such a short space of time is what is wrong for me.
I also found that the first three lines sounded OK but there was a major step to the rest of the poem. It read OK but when I stopped to try and understand it, to try and put those last lines in their place, I found I did not know where those "words" came from. Were they said by, or to, the subject of the poem. Maybe it doesn't matter? Maybe it does? I am still learning.