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Haiku trio (Autumn)

Submitted by Candlewitch on Tue, 2010-11-23 11:55

Hush! It is evening
Nature paints her landscapes
Colors goldenrod

Autumnal changes
Ecliptic intersections
Bringing natures' dance

The autumnal feast
From the horn of plenitude
Serves celebration

Style / type: 
Structured: Eastern
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Geezer

Tue, 2010-11-23 12:10

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nice theme , that fused all three. Have to go look at rules, for the technicals, but they sound so smooth, They must be right! ~ Love ya, ~ Gee

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Candlewitch

Wed, 2010-11-24 11:23

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I'm glad to see you and that you enjoyed my little ode to autumn.

love, cat

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Candlewitch

Wed, 2010-11-24 11:25

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Thank you! Fall is my favorite time of year.

love, cat

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Candlewitch

Wed, 2010-11-24 11:27

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You are so very kind.

love, cat

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Dalton

Tue, 2010-11-23 15:53

I'm never sure of the technical details of writing haikus. It takes a very tight structure. But Kerouac said we don't have to follow the rules of the haiku to the letter as they were ordered and are governed by the rules of another language. I think you have achieved something special here. John

Candlewitch

Wed, 2010-11-24 11:31

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Thank you for that bit of information on Kerouac, it sounds wise to me. I appreciate your visitation and response.

always, cat

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Race_9togo

Tue, 2010-11-23 18:11

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Distinct shades of Samhain all through these.
Most excellent.

Respectfully, Race

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

Candlewitch

Wed, 2010-11-24 11:33

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You hit the nail on the head! And win a big smile from me!

love, cat

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loved

Tue, 2010-11-23 20:24

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haiku
and

u

wonderfully

dooooooo

HAIKU

loved

Candlewitch

Wed, 2010-11-24 11:34

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:) thank you!

always, cat

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scribbler

Tue, 2010-11-23 21:40

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I am glad to see I'm not the only one who finds Haiku better in series. Well done........scribbler

Candlewitch

Wed, 2010-11-24 11:36

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absolutely, much better in series!

love, cat

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Victorclaude

Tue, 2010-11-23 22:06

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I liked them all.

Very nicely done!

Victor

"When a pickpocket meets a holy man all he sees are his pockets."

Unknown (at least to me)

Candlewitch

Wed, 2010-11-24 11:39

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Thank you very much, glad you liked them.

always, cat

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Candlewitch

Wed, 2010-11-24 11:41

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I am looking forward to reading your Spring haiku!

much love to you, cat

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lou

Wed, 2010-11-24 01:37

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They evoke the crisp coolnes of Autumn, pure and beautiful.

Lou xx

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

Candlewitch

Wed, 2010-11-24 11:42

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I am pleased that you enjoyed my little string!

love, cat

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mand

Wed, 2010-11-24 02:42

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I don't know much about Haiku, but I do know that this is a beautiful poem.

Love Mand xxxxxx

Candlewitch

Wed, 2010-11-24 11:44

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I don't often write nature poems but this one is special to me. Thank you!

love, cat

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Nordic cloud

Thu, 2010-11-25 06:01

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Wind tossed colours three,
regale the page here Candlewitch,
bewitching our minds...... a moment as the haiku do,

I like your kind of haiku very much,
this is lovely, the brush of nature
painting the golden rods ,
that flower so late into the fall,
their rods of ochre gold can be saved
for Winter months, as decoration and
with other flowers, they all fade to the most
delicate tints and shades of their former selves.

The second and third one's I like too,
the second making one think....ecliptic intersections,
lovely way of ushering the Autumn in.
You have exactly got the 5/7/5,
admirable indeed.

You usher us in with your hush!
And we hush....
to read.
Thank you Candlewitch with my love Ann.

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

Candlewitch

Thu, 2010-11-25 09:52

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I am tickled that you gleaned so much meaning and enjoyment from my haiku string of three verses! Thank you for visiting and sharing with me what you think and feel.

love, cat

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ziggy

Thu, 2010-11-25 16:53

hi cat I have missed this as I have had my head
stuck in that wonderful book its a real trill
to have it , I love the way you have knit these words together here
much love ,.,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs x

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

Candlewitch

Sun, 2010-11-28 12:27

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Thank you for reading and commenting. I'm so glad you are enjoying the book! Don't let it keep you up nights ;)

Love Cat

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Hooded Stranger

Thu, 2010-11-25 18:05

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Cat,

perfectly crafted lines...worked well as a set of three.

I'm not a fan of Haiku, but I can't knock these ones I have no idea of the technicalities and rules, but I remember a member of Neopoet (doorman) who seemed to be an expert in Haiku. Sod rules anyway, they are only made to be broken afterall.

I was waiting for Styx to show up in the last one and destroy the tranquil setting!!...Lol!

Why is Autumn special to you?

regards,

HS

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Candlewitch

Sun, 2010-11-28 12:36

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Every now and then I feel the need to write something "normal" as apposed to my usual whacked-out fare. I love the autumn because the intense heat of summer is over and the leaves on the trees change color. I also love Halloween (Samhain I hope I spelled that correctly, pronounced sowin) which is the birthday of Eddy Styx.)

love, cat

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loved

Tue, 2011-03-15 14:24

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haiku poetry
i've ever read

7 5 7
so succcint

loved

Candlewitch

Wed, 2011-03-16 10:43

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Thank you Loved!

always, Cat

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raj

Tue, 2011-03-15 14:31

I agree totally with Geeser...it is a wonderful fusion of Haikus and creates the wonderful moods of Autumn in its glory...i enjoyed it. immensely..

raj (sublime_ocean)

Candlewitch

Wed, 2011-03-16 10:45

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I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for telling me.

Always, Cat

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