though I've read the footnotes still I feel kind of lost  .But I am sure it is only me .

I see you've repeated lines of "I went to her" may be to make it more memorable but I find it gives a Singy-songy sense to the piece and make it more like a nurserey which doesn't go with theme especially the ending which I liked the most

 'in 17 hours, her blood, maroon'

'drips off the bottom step'

so I suggest to remove at least one of those repeated lines

Thanks for sharing Ron 

Such a life taken, thank you for the reference to her, I have looked it up.
Your piece does not bring in the girl herself, there seems to be so much you could say about her in poetry.
Her music is not my style but that would never change my view on the waste of any person in this way.
I think your write here could do with a little more, sorry but to have lived but 29 years and be so cruelly taken she needs more from you..
Yours Ian.T

Mia Zapata was born on August 25, 1965 in Louisville, Kentucky. She learned how to play the guitar and the piano by age nine.
In 1984, she enrolled at Antioch College located in Yellow Springs, Ohio as a liberal arts student.

Professional background

In September 1986, Zapata and three friends formed the punk rock band, The Gits. In 1989, the band relocated to Seattle, Washington. The band released a series of singles on local independent record labels from 1990 to 1991. In 1992, the band released its debut album Frenching the Bully.
Their reputation progressively increased within the grunge scene in Seattle, before the band began work on their second and final album Enter: The Conquering Chicken, released in 1993

Murder

At around 2:00 a.m. on July 7, 1993, Zapata left the Comet Tavern in the Capitol Hill area of Seattle. She stayed at a studio space in the basement of an apartment building located a block away, and briefly visited a friend who lived on the second floor. This was the last time she was seen alive. She may have walked a few blocks west, north to a friend's apartment, or may have decided to take the long walk south to her home
She was brutally murdered that night, I will leave the rest out, as it is not good to read, but if you need to read about this young lady just Google it.. Yours Ian.T

in that we went and looked her up, i didn't know of her

as for the write - i do find it rather vague - are you refering to words of songs when you repeat lines?

and Grrrrl for Mia Zapata (Grrrrl??)

and why the Mexican or Spanish 'buenos noches / buenos dias' ??

the first stanza makes no sense to me at all – sorry
and the second – what do you mean you went to her?

and
‘she is here 29 now......she raids undefeated
in 17 hours, her blood, maroon
drips off the bottom step’
were you watching a concert of hers, or looking at a photo taken 17 hours before she died or something?

sorry ron – I’m not being perverse – I really want to understand where you are coming from here. it is a very intriguing write

love judy
xxx

and have responded to it with honesty and courage.

Grrrl is a term for young feminists that has been around for a while. I love it. I think the repetition works well.

I look forward to what you do with the re-write.

Hi Ron, how does one cross the personal boundary between two people in order to write a tribute poem?
Find what you have in common. Speak of your differences and juxtapose them together.....It would then be impossible not to tell the story.

My best wishes.

~A

I am on another comp so excuse errors..
On a lighter note Status Quo, they is lovely no need for dis Gust..
I hope that in that U S of A there are some lovely memorable times.
There seems to be an undercurrent of discontent in many people..
I hope that the next workshop will be on the most memorable, joyful moment in our lives.
I think that to work with the good things for a while will bring some of the others into line..?????
I am going to my dark room again to rejoin with my happier thoughts, Yours Ian.T