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Grippe....

Submitted by Esker on Sun, 2012-12-09 08:37

stalwart ice beneath our bold steps
the treachery of slopes
and the needles in our shins
the calves the wrists

we dream of natures kiss
and forelock youth
beneath a blue

we linger here behind the view
our dark wide screen
of vision care

Our pharmacy of meds
in tote We ratttle in
our winter coats

And for a day respite is
near The puffer steers
away and clear
That hissing mask
that holds us dear
like hostages so close
and near

But do we must
as once we could
to gather in our
little crew
the coffee shops
and food court malls
To see our smiles
hand shake them all

Mortality today shall
take his fall
for we arise
this frozen morn
to greet the day
and own our life

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Esker

Sun, 2012-12-09 08:43

Esker's picture

took dogs for walk...saw the beautiful misted sunrise
to our east down the long slope of houses..apartments
urban forest and hydro poles cable phone etc..
to the lake and far hills..
The one dog was limping from a cold foot
if we go too long

and I realized how grateful I am to have mobility
vision lungs ability to move as I do at this age
and to appreciate this..
Its been the dogs that have shown me this
and In doing so I understand better the elders
who gather in groups
like the youth at the food court
coffee shops

This poem has many snags
unmatched everything

I want to get away from this kind of
work I have been doing for a couple of
years now...

get the focus back out there

Kitty has it...I can feel that vision
in her work..the vitality

Im old and creaky in my chair
thinking the fiction and the past

but its time to get up and start
living....

This morning is beautiful!!

author comment

weirdelf

Tue, 2012-12-11 01:53

weirdelf's picture
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Your poetry was incredibly beautiful and lucid. Now it feels pretentious and random. Sorry.
My interpretation? Tell me if I am a wrong fuckwit, but you went Christian and lost your native voice.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Esker

Tue, 2012-12-11 20:02

Esker's picture

Like talent..or a job..or a good girl
If pretention means a polish from just moving through
poetry as function and fullfilment then you are correct
"beautiful and lucid" many are here....and my poet
role for me in writing here is for working new realms
and stretching word and paragraph rhyme etc

I am sorry you Personalize Christian...I am sorry
that you feel a strong personal connection with me
and wish for me to be whatever it is you are

I can only be what I am and Yes I have blue eyes
from strong Scottish Viking stock and Ojibway lines
that include medicine and traditional and heriditary
cheifs..(My uncle is presently a cheif..and my other
uncle before that)

I have actually lived on a reservation and sober done
a lot of work there and met elders and sat with the
young..created artwork that still adorns letterheads
for the healing Lodge...a gathering place has its
tackboard and there is my logo on a notice..My mother
instructed me what to create and I won!! A nice feeling
to see...I have built sweatlodges with the elders..a Great
cleansing experience.....Have you searched out and
worked with the Aboriginals there!!! the old ones of all
tribes have wisdom that can guide on quests when one
questions much...YOu ask for an interpretation...speak
of a question so I can hope for you that you still have
an open mind as I always keep one and offer what I
can to all....Open or closed...

Thank You!

author comment

Roscoe Lane

Tue, 2012-12-11 02:54

Roscoe Lane's picture

I disagree with Jess, this isn't so far away from your other poems. And when you feel it you have got to get it on a page, well i do most of the time i let my emotions guide. I like this, especially the lines ( our pharmacy of meds in tote, We rattle in our winter coat). I left of the S i think it's better without. Regards Roscoe..

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

Esker

Tue, 2012-12-11 20:11

Esker's picture

This was an emotional write..
I was a bitter closed minded soul for a long time
and had to fight that
Locked in the self...but Im enjoying the contact with
this new open mind I have
I appreciate the beauty in being alive even
if its painful..Its not ones fault
and if it was...I leave the pain alone sometimes
and it heals on its own
Scratch the wound so it never mends so I can
rattle it in peoples faces for attention or sympathy
No that was the old old me
Parents die bullies suffer
life rolls on without everyone
We cant live forever
its not disney land or happy endings
I take all that crap and make it what I can

I feel the sun on my face
I lost my mittens today
somewhere and my anger and
rage came and went
as it does...then I said..
"Its a good thing its a sunny warm day today"
warm enough there was puddles on the frozen
roads and mild snowbanks

I see angry able bodied people stomping through
the snow and intimidating others out of the way
I see those in wheelchairs struggling in the slush
and they have a smile
Or a cane happy that they made it across the
street....Happy to be alive

I am glad I can see now and feel so much
rather then be trapped inside
I like the Emotional rush now
in solitiude and anticipation and gratitude
of what is revealed to me

I really like how you showed me how much
better and intimate and personal this becomes
when you leave off the "s"

Thank You Roscoe!

author comment

Kailashana2

Tue, 2012-12-11 20:07

I'll have to think about this one for a while; maybe I've been away too long.

~

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