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The Grinch's Christmas Rant

Oh, bogus Christmas Spirit pass me by,
I see lacklustre wrapped in mindless cheer.
If I rebel, I have good reasons why;
I won’t allow your jolly madness near.
It’s true, I love St. Nick and Tiny Tim,
But spare me that cha-chinking of the till.
You packrats, frantic in wild shopping whim,
You humbugs who snuffed out my own goodwill,
If your trite gifts are meant to touch my purse
And yield return, I shall ignore the pinch;
Bah Humbug! you will get, meant as a curse.
But IF you want to buy stuff for the Grinch,
In place of all this season's SPIRIT spoof,
Give me the bottled eighty- percent proof.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

enjoy your tale, it leaves much to be desired in the rhythm and pattern dept. I feel that you might be able to make it measurably better, if you want. Nice tale though. ~ Geez.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

yes, I'm just a beginning writer; much to learn from you guys. Thanks for the read, much appreciated. Van

author comment

What can I say? For all my experience reading poetry, I am utterly confused by this poem. I get the general gist, and it strikes me as quite funny, but I have to agree with Geezer that in order to have its full potential realized, it may need a rewrite or two.
I particularly love the lines: "You packrats, frantic in wild shopping whim" and "Bah, Humbug! you will get, meant as a curse." but maybe that is only because they are some of the few my poor intellect can actually understand. XD
~

"To reveal art and conceal the artist is art's true aim." Oscar Wilde

now it's my turn to be utterly confused. I just had my wife, who is an excellent reader, recite this poem, one that is an iambic sonnet of 5 metric feet, to be read as "ta-Tum, ta-TUM, etc.. The stress falls on the second syllable, like this: "Oh, BO-gus CHRIST-mas SPI-rit PASS me BY"
So, boys 'n girls, this is sumfin to think about. Thanks for reading, dear lady.
Yours, Van

author comment

It has a lot less to do with the actual meter than with the thought-process of the poem. The ideas jump from one to the other so quickly and - seemingly - randomly, that it is hard to understand what it is really going on. So, no, there's really not much wrong with the actual poetry of it, but the plot is so difficult to grasp, it ceases to be a plot at all.
Rereading, it makes a little more sense now, so maybe this will just turn out to be one of those sorts of poems like Shakespeare's that one must almost memorize to completely comprehend. XD
~

"To reveal art and conceal the artist is art's true aim." Oscar Wilde

thank you for your return. Now I know what the problem is: the length or rather the shortness of the sonnet form. It takes a skilled poet to cram all the details of a plot into 14 lines. So far, I have written 45 Sonnets that make sense, but this particular one is bound to humble me, lol. I think I'm done with sonnets--at leats for a while. Thanks, dear lady. Yours, Van

author comment
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