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Green To Gold... [September Contest]

I feel it in my bones
I see it through my eyes
The change from summer tones
It's not a big surprise

The squirrel's tail is getting thicker
Leaves are changing color
The days go by much quicker
One blurs into another

Soon, cool nights will be upon us
The days begin with frost
We can depend upon this
Soon summer will be lost

But change is good, I'm sure
From summer green and bland
There is no better cure
Than September's hand

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 
Contest: 

Comments

I enjoyed the rhyme and how I could animate this in my spoken voice so flawlessly

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

that you enjoyed this one! I'm especially pleased, that you could speak this so well aloud. I try hard to make it so that when a poem I write is spoken aloud, it rolls right along. Thank you, ~ Gee

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author comment

very soothing change over

like a gal switches off and dresses into her gown the night has come September breeze not much yet to freeze ....

was easy to write. Mother Nature is not always subtle, but when she is, she is at her most alluring!
Thank you. ~ Gee

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author comment

Very good use of near rhyme (something I'm not good at). Thanks for your entry.........stan

good at it either! It takes practice and trying to fit the basic sounds together. I love the English language, because of all the different words that you can fit together. Thanks for your read and comment. ~ Gee

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author comment

Good write there young man lol
I feel it in my bones but must smile at discomfort lol.
Yours Ian..

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