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Gratitude

So here we are,
The night before the awakening.
June, my month of love.
May was beautiful.
Indeed I grew in love and shone like the sun.
Welcome to my Garden of June.
Be patient, all colourful flowers will bloom.
An awakening for both you and l.
You are a light, don't sleep on it.

A little push and we are here.
We can make it together don't be scared.
Thank you May, for blooming too.

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I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
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What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
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Comments

in this line:
Indeed I grew in love and (shun) like the sun. try the word: (shone)

the poem is beautiful for welcoming in the month of June and hints at things to come!

*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

the mood is light and wonderful for welcoming in the summer! However; in light of the fact that the word [light] is bandied about here, I wonder at the usage of the word in the line that says; "You are a light, don't sleep on it" ? Is that an adage or proverb that is common in your part of the world? ~ Geezer.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

That line... I just wrote that. I haven't heard anyone around my side use it though. Thank you for the comment.

author comment

the advice of Cat and transform the word [shun] into "shone". ~ Geezer.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

Beautifully crafted!
.

"Poetic license
gives
the poets
the free will to
embroider a good tale
and deviate from the established rules of language"~Jackweb

Thank you!

author comment
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