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A grain of sand

A grain of sand

Every soul is like a grain of sand

Amidst this troublesome land

Of which we all stand

Who will remember a grain of sand?

Whence our memories are too little to grasp

The wave will someday create a new path

Where a new soul will dance on the ignorant past

Who will remember a grain of sand?

For every moment is forgotten and nothing will last

Your tears may dwindle beneath your mask

Who will care when time has passed?

Who will remember a grain of sand?

This life we live is worth nothing more than a glance

This life is a journey that can never be put up and framed

So I'll be the one who hangs

So I'll tighten the cord with my hurting harrowed hands

This day will be my last; the leap will be my final stance

Who will care, For after all who will remember a grain of sand?

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
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Not Explicit Content


..the word "whence" is a great poetic word, but is enigmatic in it's use sometimes. Insignificance is a preponderance of the human imagination and has been for centuries. Many great writers have conveyed it's emotional effect with clarity, beauty and inspirational qualities. The most beautiful version I personally experienced is the song "Dust in the Wind" by Kansas.

Your piece has a song like quality, also.

Fortunately, there are enough people that figure the world revolves around them to balance the equation.


. like my lost dreams...the flood

Thank you

author comment

Your poem is interesting!

I am left wondering if this is some sort of final farewell, or is it something written from the debths of despair? Also why did you choose to place a line space in-between each line?

The use of white space on the page is a tool for effective accent. I use it judiciously (or I at least I think I do). It’s kinda a concept that your inner poet needs to grapple with.

Also, a suggestion for form…. Group your lines together to express some continuation of a thought.

Please remember that we suggust ideas here, however you are the final judge on your work.

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Thank you! It is obviously up to the audience how they interpret the piece but I thought of it as an individual who sees the reality of our society representing a cycle of nothingness, it is a fun subject to write about. The ability of not caring. Also, thank you for the advise you have given, it is very useful.

author comment

Should you have any problems here just holler for me and if I don't have the answer I'll point you to somebody who does.
Now the poem. Comparing us to grains of sand is a good idea

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