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Goodbye

Goodbye you stupid stupid world
This girl is going I have unfurled
I won't be back you believe me
It is much better if I flee
I hate you all no love no care
I'm running away and cutting my hair
I'll get rid of all you love
Wait I forgot I'm not your dove
I'm just a lowly piece of trash
This girl is gone and won't come back

Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

I do hope this is a fiction work.
I have been here on Neopoet for 10 plus years it is a great place for learning the in's and out's of poetry.
But I now have to leave, due to being Ill with Cancer so, it just grates a little when someone gives up so easily.
I notice you are young but wanting to learn, I will not critique your piece, just be in there to learn it will enhance your life.
Take care young lady and know that you are so welcome here and try a little sunshine in your next write,
Yours Ian T ..x

Words can build a nation

Farewell my friendly poet friends
I will miss you till the end
You loved my writing and my heart
But I have begun to fall apart
I need to get away from the pain
So I'll leave and won't refrain
Don't forget all that I've said
Now I am gone, but won't be dead

Vivi
(Love hanging with my family of poets)

author comment

I can just picture a young woman suffering her first broken heart and penning this

Very very powerful I reckon you could get more out of your last lines, by maybe changing love and dove, I think this is desperately sad but obviously your technical manner has worked perfectly because I just wanted to jump into neopoet to save her. Let me know if you want to work on the last lines a touch. Otherwise leave as is.

Thank you...Teddy

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